Mind the Gap

Our blogs are platforms from which we share our experiences, opinions, and views with the online world. For Mind the Gap…

  • Ready to write? Each Tuesday, we’ll provide a theme. Publish a new post on your blog interpreting the weekly theme. Create a pingback to this week’s challenge to share your post with the community. Learn More

Our blogs are platforms from which we share our experiences, opinions, and views with the online world. For Mind the Gap challenges, we want to hear what you think about a divisive issue. Each challenge will include a poll where you can cast your vote along with your fellow Daily Post participants. After you vote, tell us more about how you feel by expanding on the topic in a blog post. Be sure to visit other participants’ posts to get some healthy discussion going.

To participate, tag your posts with DPchallenge and leave a link to your post in the comments. Please be sure your post has been specifically written in response to this challenge; obvious attempts to link-bait will be deleted. We’ll keep an eye on the tag and highlight some of our favorites on Freshly Pressed each Friday.


There’s no shortage of contentious political events we could use for this week’s Mind the Gap challenge—it’s nearly impossible to be online for more than 0.2 seconds before seeing something about the upcoming U.S. presidential elections. (If you’ve figured out how to avoid it, please tell us!)

Instead, we thought we’d try another topic, something people don’t get quite so worked up about and that’s not U.S.-centric: kids.

Everyone loves kids, right? Right! Except when they don’t.

This week, we’re particularly interested in what you think about kids in adult-oriented places. I think most of us can agree that it’s not a good idea to drag little Sally to a bar at 1AM, but what about a museum? A fancy restaurant?

As always, we’re looking forward to reading your interesting, well-reasoned arguments—if you’re going to insult parents or condemn anyone under age 18, we’ll pass.

We hope that you visit fellow challenge participants’ posts for all challenges, and especially encourage you to do so for Mind the Gap. Let the debate begin!

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  1. If a child must be taken to an essentially adult-oriented function, parent(s) or whoever should make it clear the child will do as told and behave. Establish expectations before you go to the event–and make consequences of crossing the line clear. If the child is disobedient or disruptive, remove the child–and yourself–from the event. As a parent it’s your responsibility to set limits…and stick to them, however uncomfortable or inconvenient.


  2. Great one! I love kids! We were often taught as kids that children are the leaders of tomorrow. Today, we are no longer children. Children learn comportment, manners and the bulk of what they carry into adulthood from their observation of what the adults do. Children are a check on us. Rather than hide or teach them lies, we should sit up and do the necessary things that will get them to their peak performance in life. Kids should go along with us to wherever we go. If we consider them a nuissance, then let us learn to stay at home with them, until they are presentable. Would a baby-sitter have my taste? I strongly doubt. I need to put a post together, to participate in this challenge. Alright, I’m off to work on it! :)


  3. I have witnessed terrible kids and terrible parents, and great kids and great parents. It really depends on the event and the family. Every invitation needs to state clearly if children are allowed… or if parents are allowed. I find the above poll silly but the challenge fun because I have kids.


  4. I voted that kids should be allowed in adult orientated places, but only if they are mature enough not to be a disturbance but able to participate in conversations maturely or listen quietly and blend in with the adults.


      1. If you’re talking about the average kid, I might say no, but I also know lots of kids that are much more mature than some adults I know.


      2. Well, first of all you have to consider: About what “kind of kids” are we talking about here? Small children who are barely able to eat properly at the table? Of course, I wouldn’t take such a small child with me to the Ritz Carlton. ^^ If we are talking about teenagers…sure! Some of them are really mature and clever!
        Still I think, that being immature as a child is not a bad thing at all. It’s just natural and kids should have the right to be not yet mature. When in live will you ever get the possibility again to act immature without being judged for it? As an adult you have to care all the time about this “social code”…Aren’t kids heartwarming because of their honesty, directness and naivity from time to time? You can call it bad manners, selfishness or respectless (most probably that’s what most people think about when they use the word “immature”…) I call it charming! (Of course, there are kids out there with REALLY bad manners as well ^^)
        So I think, it’s all about how you define the words “mature” or “immature”. Furthermore it depends on the individual child and on the location you want to take the child with.

        To me every child should have the right to be immature and not be forced to sit with adults at the luxus restaurant table, pretending to be an aduld by copying their “social code” (or talking like an aduld like this well trained girl in the video. Maybe she is really already that intelligent and was not forced to it. Still I think that I child should run around outside, climbing on trees instead of dealing with banking)There are places were kids (and adulds) can act freely. Go there with them.


  5. Adult-oriented places exist for a reason. Adults without kids and those with kids who want to enjoy a night without children should be able to do so. I love my children and I love working with them. I also love my adult time. There are plenty of time I take my kids with me, and other when I don’t. Get a sitter and get a life. Kids do not need to be everywhere adults are.


    1. The lack of judgement I see in some parents is breathtaking. Toddlers running loose in expensive restaurants or being brought along to violent movies.

      Museums are a little easier because they generally have hours that are sufficient to accommodate the parent-with-kids AND the childless adult without the two populations crossing paths.

      But generally, here in the U.S., there has been a trend toward focusing all public life on kids. And I’m sorry, but that’s the lowest common denominator there is. Not all art is intended for, or appropriate for, children; and not all other public places are either.


  6. i imagine those with kids will be voting for kids to be in places and those without will generally be voting for them not to be – would be great if we could have the vote options include that:

    person with kids: should be allowed or shouldn’t be allowed
    person with no kids: should be allowed or shouldn’t be allowed

    and a big aspect is how the kids behave i imagine cos people without kids will be so much more tolerant of kids who behave well and probably less people in general [exceot maybe parents of really not well behaving kids] will be as keen to have tantrum-enducing kids allowed anywhere much

    and at least one old person slash teacher slash grammar police sergeant will head in here brandishing their “kids are children of goats you are talking about children which are children of people” sign…


      1. [gives self high five fist pump as response from michelle w’s half head portrait is but one space away from being WP’d… as if any of us cared about that]


  7. wow what an interesting topic! So many times we overlook those who are most vulnerable; our children. We tend to get so caught up in our own selfishes and needs and we dont take into account that there are other who have needs greater than ours

    I usually take a bit of time to comment and read on other posts, but I think this week I will write about this. This is something that is important to me and we should never forget about the children :)


  8. I too would have liked a third poll option because my view on this has changed since having children….children who are well behaved and have been taught manners and proper behavior in a “nice place” i.e. one that is meant primarily for adults vs. children to enjoy. When taken to those “nice places” they understand that children should be seen and not heard.


  9. As an Au Pair living in Germany (one of the things I blog about if you are intrested) I feel I am at least somewhat qualified in answering this. In short the answer is yes and no, it depends entirely on the children but there are some things parents need to take into consideration. To read more click this link:

    Happy blogging!


  10. I didn’t notice any comments about the kid’s perspective… Here’s a thought: the next time you go to a bar, get down on your knees for the whole night, you’ll probably be about the height of a kid. You’ll be looking a bellies all night, and not see many faces. Sounds like fun, right? Oh. And you can’t get drunk/happy. You have to drink those really awful non-alcoholic concoctions that bars serve. Perhaps it’s time to slay solipsism in this culture.


  11. Love kids – especially when they go home. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking kids to adult oriented places. The kid loves it and all strippers think they’re so cute too!


  12. I love kids as well as is evident in my post with pictures and my granddaughter. I wish that life and raising children were that easy. Moreover having been a cop and also working now professionally as a Securities and Risk Division Manager for a major corporation, I would have to disagree, children aren’t a check on us in today’s society rather they are more the image or reflection of what they see their parents are.
    The sad thing about today’s society and this generation is that we are a quick fix society, and we have mistakenly allowed our children to have the feeling of entitlement to anything and everything. Ahhhh hell here goes my blog now will finish this there.


  13. Hi Michael,

    Not wanting to show my ignorance, but I guess I have to, how do I ‘leave a link to my post in the comments’?

    Sorry, I’m still finding my way around WordPress.

    Many thanks



  14. As a teacher, Mom, and Grandmom, this IS exactly what you do, and be consistant. Otherwise, we would not even feel comfortable bringing children anywhere. How would they grow their imagination, faith, or learn acceptable social skills. I still hear my Mothers’ voice when I sit down at the table to eat, or go to my closet to dress. Some molds are hard to break! Impossible if they are taught with love and kindness. Don’t get me started on what children of Southern Parents (Moms) drill into kids…… ;)


  15. Just had a thought – is there a difference between American bars and English pubs? Cause most pubs in England welcome families during the day, but not sure if bars are the same…anyone know?


    1. Families are welcome to eat in pubs for lunch and early dinner. Some pubs allow children in the bar up until a certain time in the evening (only over 16 or 18 after 9pm etc).
      I would say English bars are different to pubs, pubs are more traditional (most anyway), to me, bars are a bit more sophisticated and children wouldn’t fit in with the atmosphere. Having never been to America I can’t comment on their bars.


  16. Aside from the fact that I clearly didn’t read the full topic description before writing a post on the completely wrong subject (feel free to delete the link in the pingback, I wasn’t intentionally trying to not do the challenge properly), I have to say that I lay on the fence on the subject.
    I am a firm believer kids are people too and that parents and children alike should be able to do the things that they need to/enjoy doing.
    On the other hand, adults aren’t allowed in the McDonald’s play place, even if I would love to go in, so the same can be said for some of the “play places of adults” like bars, fancy restaurants and loud concerts. Sometimes, it can’t be helped and kids have to come, or it is a special circumstance. But sometimes, if it is better for them, safer for them to stay away from certain places for both the sake of the kids and the sanity of those around. Kind of like how I can’t hop in the play place just because it looks fun for the safety of the kids (and myself).


  17. As a traveler, I can say that yes, children may be disruptive in museums or restaurants, but people need to get over it. The world doesn’t end if there is a maybe crying next to you. That said, I would take my kids out of the resteraunt.


  18. I’m more tolerant of kids in adult-oriented places now that I have a kid (okay, maybe not tolerant as much as I am sleep deprived and hardly paying attention), but if a child is left to scream and cry without any discipline and isn’t removed from the premises if they choose to not behave, then I have an issue with it. If my daughter isn’t going to do well in a certain situation, then my husband and I have a policy of leaving because we understand there are paying customers who probably aren’t in the mood to hear an encore performance of “I don’t want to eat the green beans!!!” We decided to have a kid, they didn’t. Our responsibility, not theirs.


  19. For the sake of argument I’m gonna parse this topic down a bit. I think we all agree that well mannered teens in a museum with mindful parents = fine. And obnoxious kids of any age + aloof parents & any quiet place = not fine.

    It’s that weird middle kid age that’s the heart of this debate, I think.

    Like say for example – if I’ve talked with my 8 year old (FYI – I don’t have one) about having good manners, she’s equipped with a Nintendo DS (on SILENT) just in case and she comes along to a fancy dinner with us. Is this okay?

    I feel like I’ve seen this in action. In fact, last Valentine’s Day we went to an old Victorian turned low-lit, high-cost bistro and a couple brought their son and daughter who were about this age to the table. It was a little surprising. Their kids were fine.

    It’s risky because if one of them decided to kick the table or the sibling or get restless and whiny and want to leave it’s a tough call to say “Box up the Filet Mignon, kids want to get home for some Xbox” but you also don’t want to torture everyone else around you because you want to get your $ worth.

    In the end I say it’s fine. Kids have to learn somehow. But parents, it’s a task not to be taken lightly and may end up ruining your evening.


    1. I’m a believer that there are events for kids, adults and families. Even if a child is well behaved I think that being in an all adult situation is inappropriate. Our conversations are not always suitable for children’s ears or their level of understanding. I also think that a DS is not a suitable babysitter. As a mother of a 10 year old I keep him in age appropriate situations. Yes … Eventually they need to learn but at 8 or 10 they should be just that and not expected to behave or act any older or younger than that. Just my opinion :)


  20. There is nothing to gain by denying good parents the right to enjoy activities in adult spheres. As a girl, my mother used to joke that we were going out “to paint the town red” when she and my stepdad would take me out for dinner and a promenade stroll on a Saturday evening. It was important for me to be there as it gave me an opportunity to bond with both of them on their turf; it eliminated the feeling that they had a secret adult world. Of course, I wasn’t invited with them on romantic getaways, and that made me feel isolated enough. From the perspective of a child from a non-traditional family, those opportunities to share with my parents was the saving grace from resentment and isolation.

    Consider also that every “child” isn’t bound to childish behavior. I, for example, was a mini-grownup through and through. I was so responsible that I was entrusted to babysit neighborhood children for pay at only ten. And I could whip up a spaghetti dinner that would’ve made you want to peek in the kitchen to see if a kid really had prepped it. I was all about culinary presentation and healthy ingredients, the whole nine. Many introverted children, like I was, have no problem sitting down and behaving appropriately while using proper etiquette.

    Parenting styles vary, and some are strict disciplinarians whose children will comply when in their parents’ presence. You may have already guessed that this was the case with me (though my mom could be very relaxed and personable, too, at times.) I was taught that “children should be seen and not heard.” While I don’t subscribe to such a belittling dogma, I am certain that most kids from authoritarian households won’t be running amok; in fact, you may not even hear them at all.

    Finally, children deserve opportunities to learn so that they can mature into functional and civil adults. Two birthdays ago, I dressed my then three-year-old up and took her as my “date” to Castaway, considered a 5-star restaurant. Yes, we ordered the lobster. And, yes, I taught her the proper way to eat surf-n-turf. Yes, I told her that–one day–she would grow up to go on dates at restaurants like Castaway.

    Not only do I want my daughter to know correct social form, I want her to develop a level of expectations for herself and from her environment. I don’t take my kid to Sizzler or Hometown Buffet because I don’t dine at those places, nor do I want the concept of the almighty greasespoon to be her norm. Whether people like the truth or not, the fact is that American society is deeply stratified by social status. When a young man asks a lady (key word: lady) on a date, he usually considers her upbringing and tastes. Fast food boys chase fast food girls; it’s in their budget and ethos.

    Before you take me to task, note that I emphasize ethos, too. Coming from a mostly vegetarian (I took up meat later, then dropped it again) and organic home, I have certain expectations in a partner’s approach to food. Many a marital fight was caused by my unequal yoking with someone (ex) who didn’t value my food ideals. I already see how my daughter has adopted the Whole Foods lifestyle. When someone offers her something, she asks, “Is that organic?” Now seriously, what could I possibly give this girl from McDonalds or one of those other meat-and-fry holes that people call “family friendly”? Why would I *want* to give my child a helping of heart disease and obesity anyway? When vegan and/or organic child-centered restaurants open chains across the country, I’ll gladly revise the last paragraph of my post.


  21. Everyone loves kids, right? Right! Except when they don’t see beyond themselves. We all need our boarders expanded to include new experiences and people. Children are essential to our adult experience. It is an unhappy situation when a child remains self centred and only able to focus on himself and even tragic when grownups continue to be involved with themselves in a childish way.

    What is the healthy way to grow socially? I have horrible emotional issues I have been crippled with, so I am not critical. I am aware there are easy ways to get over my boundaries. I am learning. I can’t do it for anyone else, but we can help one and other.


  22. Here is my humble contribution to the discussion: I found this theme really interesting, and intriguing… almost poking on us, parents of our loving and “well-behaved” little ones…
    Well, as a parent of 3 little kids, moving every two years, due to family work requirements, having to adjust not only to a new country, as well as to new cultures, new languages, there’s yet the expectation that [shockingly!] my kids should also re-invent themselves and adjust/adapt to new social demands/requirements, you imagine! :o Thanks for the prompt inspiration!


  23. Children are like dogs: some are wonderful and some are awful, and it usually depends on the degree to which the parents understand how to help them become civilized and/or control them so they are not indulged and do not become obnoxious. If the parents themselves are indulgent and obnoxious, the liklihood is great that their dog/child/selves will be same. Unfortunately, most children do not have the foresight to get past their parents/handlers. In a restaurant or nite spot, some people, i.e., adults, behave outrageously. So, to confirm, bad behavior is not limited to children.



    I voted that in general children should be allowed in adult-oriented places, although would hope that parents judge both their child and the specific situation on an ad hoc basis. For some context, I am twenty-six years old and currently do not have children. Also, I do not particularly enjoy the company of most children. Nevertheless, I certainly would not vote to quash parental attempts to socialize and educate their young. How can a child grow up to be a curious, intellectually stimulated, well-socialized adult if their presence at places like fancy restaurants and museums were restricted? Understanding social norms and developing a mental acquisitiveness are learned behaviors, allowing children exposure to these sorts of venues at a tender age could be potentially mind expanding experiences.

    This response continues on the blog…


  25. Well, not everyone likes children. I don’t. Which probably is why whatever higher power might be out there created the gay me. I don’t have children, never wanted children, and try to stay as far away from them as possible.


  26. Come on guys.. Kids are awesome!! OK sometimes I cringe a little when there’s a toddler with lungs to rival Paravotti behind me in the queue in Asda, but they make up for it with their funny little ways and baffling questions. They’re fun and messy and most of us are so “adult” we’ve forgotten how to enjoy them!!

    My blog this week loosely fits the criteria (yippeeeeeee!!), although feel free to kick it out if you feel differently..

    Kids in the gym.

    Surely this is one place that they should definitely not be allowed in. Or is it? –


  27. In Victoria there’s a place I take my grandchildren and their cousins each holiday. It’s called scienceworks. Science works is an interactive museum of science and technology It’s lots of fun. There are museums and planetariums and restaurants that cater to families. I think that it is too much hard work all round to take children to adult venues.


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  28. so my blog was pretty mild i thought, but it is in the comments section where the real discussion has started to take off so please stop by and leave your opinion [] – there is some crazy good stuff happening in there…


    1. Most pizza parlors are very kid friendly. Don’t like pizza? What about Long John Silvers, Chevy’s, Chili’s, Denny’s, IHOP, Red Robin, Spaghetti Factory, Applebees, Lumberjack, Perkins, Coco’s…………?


    1. Which is it? Your son never misbehaves or you take him out of the room and deal with it when he does? If you’re getting dirty looks, could it be that other adults don’t have the same subjective opinion about your son’s laugh? If you hate the dirty looks, why do you keep doing it? I’m really not trying to be flip, I just want to understand.


  29. This was an interesting topic with far ranging responses… As a mom of twins, I was always conscious of where my kids would be comfortable because two crying babies would get people worked up. We picked our outings carefully and stayed away from obvious, adult only places. But my kids were exposed to plenty of social settings because I believe if we didn’t, we’d be interfering with their opportunity to learn. Here’s my post:


  30. This is a little snarkier and angrier than my usual. May have touched a nerve. For all the people who say “just hire a babysitter” – you volunteering? Obviously we do from time to time, but it’s expensive and not easy to find a really great one (especially if, totally hypothetically of course, you don’t live near family and have more than one child with special needs). We’d like to participate in society occasionally. And our children would also.

    I titled it: A Mom, a Toddler and a Preschooler Walk into a Restaurant…


  31. Скъпи приятели,аз моля– да не оставяме тази тема да се изгуби из интернет Ние трябва да поставим въпроса така–децата са бъдещето на нашия свят. Това е много сериозно. Да се опитаме да си представим какво ще се случи след нас. Аз смело мисля, че 21 век е упадъчен и това се отразява на децата, затова ние често не можем да се справим с тях, често чувстваме безсилие. Трябва като удавници да се заловим за обичта – според мен това е първото и последното ни спасение


  32. Hey Daily Press Moderators!

    I thought I wrote a pretty good post and followed some Freshly Pressed guidelines. Commenters and likers of this post also went on over to my post and gave me some likes and comments. How did you guys pick this weeks posts for Freshly Pressed?!


  33. My post, “Baby on Board: Should Flights be Child-Free?” drew fire from friends on Facebook, who commented:

    “If people have a problem with kids on a plane or any other public transportation, then they should probably take the car”

    “Since you can’t predict how kids will act on an 18 hour flight, you’d have to assume that all kids will misbehave, so you would have to deny ALL kids. and since kids 2+ are paying full price, they have just as much rights as the fat guy snoring loudly next to you or the person with the annoying chihuahua”

    Agree, or disagree? Would love to hear others’ opinions.


  34. Здравейте приятели! Виждам как заедно се вълнуваме от тази важна тема и в мен се ражда надежда. Не мога да следя пълноценно дискусията, да прочета вашите блогове, защото нямам компютър в къщи.А темата е важна, много важна, ние трябва да стигнем заедно до общи мнения, а защо не и решения В моя блог има някакви предполагаеми отговори. Имам намерение да публикувам още разсъждения в художествена форма, където отново присъства моята искрена загриженост Да не се отказваме от темата, да мислим, да търсим дълбочината на явленията, за да остане след нас един по– добър свят


    1. Здравейте приятели! Аз се радвам, че темата за децата отново е на дневен ред . И мисля, че с нашето искрено вълнение сме длъжни да достигнем до общи мнения . В България казваме, че една птичка пролет не прави. Моля да ме извините, но в кратките си коментари ми се струва, че сме малко повърхностни. Ние нямаме време да прочетем блоговете, предлагам да бъдем по- обширни и задълбочени в коментарите си . Аз работя с деца от 4 до 18 години, преподавам пиано и имам много впечатления , които ме тревожат . Обичам много децата , това е най-важното условие ,за да практикувам тази професия вече 30 години В моята работа, в това индивидуално обучение на първо място като условие за успех е да установя специфичен контакт със всяко дете. В този процес аз често се натъжавам, защото не виждам присъствието на родителите в тяхното възпитание И смело твърдя, че с очите си виждам отрицателната роля на интернет ,на училището, на улицата, на нашата прекалено хаотична и безлика действителност, на цялото пространство в ефира Имам още какво да кажа. Ние трябва много сериозно да приемем тази тема ,21 век остава за тях .В България казваме- каквото посеем това ще жънем.


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