Jun 15, 2014 / Community Pool

Community Pool

The Community Pool is for those of you looking for feedback, whether on post ideas, writing, blog design and layout, or anything else.

If you have a post, page, or idea you want to bounce off someone, leave a comment. Your fellow bloggers can then click through and offer input either on your site, or in the comments here (feel free to indicate which you’d prefer).

Read on for the ground rules and to leave a comment.

TIP: To keep from losing your place in the comment thread while you visit others’ blogs, right-click on a link to open it in a new tab or window.

  • You’ll get the best feedback if you can be as specific as possible about what you’d like people to respond to or where you’re struggling. If you simply leave a link to your blog, it’s likely to be overlooked.
  • Please keep all comments civil and constructive. We’re here to help and support one another, not to beat anyone down.
  • If you haven’t looked at our Commenting Guidelines in a while, now might be a good time.
  • No running on the deck.

Photo by t_a_i_s.

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      1. Oh, thank you so much! That’s what I went for, to have characters with flaws, so it’s great to hear that it worked out 😀 Happy blogging to you!

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    2. Nice little twist! But it could do with being fleshed out a little. The characters are fine but the tone is a little passionless. Otherwise, not bad 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks a lot for your feedback! Yes, I’m a lazy writer, I write as little as possible and call it a day… That’s great tips, try to elaborate a bit and put in some emotions, I’ll keep these on mind! Happy blogging 😀

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    3. I like the focus and the clarity of the story–“don’t judge others.” Of the three characters the old lady is by far the clearest and most interesting to me, probably because she is judgmental and spying on other people. She is a little odd in that way, but what I like the most about her is that she her behavior is surprising. Next I enjoy the woman in the couple, but mostly because of what she says about the man she is with. She is a pointer, pointing at someone else, but there isn’t anything really surprising about her. Finally the man is my least favorite, because all we know about him is what the woman says about him and that he has allergies. He clearly defines the theme, but I want something else.

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      1. Oh, thank you so much for this thoughtful feedback, it’s really very very helpful! It helps incredibly to see how you, the reader, see what I’ve written, and all your thoughts will help me in my next writings. I’m bookmarking these suggestions and I will keep it on mind! Thanks again and happy blogging 🙂

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    4. Hi Mara!

      I just read your story, and I think the idea, the plot and the twist at the end are great.

      What is missing, from my point of view, is a little bit of atmosphere, as it is written in one tone, with no movement at all. The twist makes the post great, though.

      And my other comment is on the words used: she, he, husband, his wife. Too much of repetition, and putting those words at the beginning of the sentences too often.

      But I like the post and the idea! Really!

      Keep up on the good work!

      🙂

      Tina

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      1. Thank you so much for your feedback, Tina, it means a lot and it’s a sound advice that I will profit from! It’s very very helpful to hear all your ideas — food for thought for future writing. Happy blogging 🙂

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    5. You did a perfect job of making characters which were just a bit unlikable, especially the older woman. I liked your story, nice ending 🙂

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      1. Thank you a lot for your input! I had fun creating the old nosy lady! I’m very happy to learn that she’s fun to read about too. Happy blogging!

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    2. I enjoy reading your post immensely! I don’t know if I can fully absorb or agree on all of them, because it takes time for ideas to soak in. But I’d definitely carry these ideas around with me and see how they fit into my life. thank you 🙂

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    3. This inspired me to not feel bad about blowing off acquaintances to watch/blog the World Cup today. I don’t really owe them a good explanation either

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    4. Definitely something that everyone needs to hear. I feel like I’ve come to understand this in my life previous to reading your post; however, as I continued to read your post I felt a strong sense of relief and freedom. I did feel that some of the posts were a little long, because I quit reading them as soon as I got the point of each item. Finally I was little confused by the first two paragraphs. Overall very strong piece.

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    5. Definitely something that everyone needs to hear. I feel like I’ve come to understand this in my life previous to reading your post; however, as I continued to read your post I felt a strong sense of relief and freedom. I did feel that some of the posts were a little long, because I quit reading them as soon as I got the point of each item. Finally I was little confused by the first two paragraphs. Overall very strong piece.

      Like

    6. Hello! I enjoyed reading your blog post and am following you! I loved the quotes in the images on the side-they add visual interest that is relevant to the post. Your message is so valuable to a college student like me who is trying to navigate all these new things in life. Thank you!

      Like

    7. I like it! I agree with almost everything on this post. My only slight issue was with number eight… whilst I too spend my weekends in jeans, t-shirts and make up free I cannot in good conscience go out in pubic without doing something to my hair… it is too short for a pony tail and if I don’t do something about it it is downright frightening!

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    1. Very good blog. I have read books/watched movies where the character doesnt make any sense. Its so maddening. Thank you for highlighting it. For the sorry ladies section of the blog. I am female and I have to agree you have a valid point. Men and women have different attributes. One is not better then the other, its just they can do different things. The ending of the blog was a little weak though. Stating that women should keep to be sweet, gentle and peace loving is undermining women a little. I think those words should be able to apply to male or female. Maybe stating other attributes like being strong, capable and loving. Or using a line about how women tend to think about how situations will effect people is a good aspect. Thank you for the good read overall.

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      1. Thanks for the thoughtful reply! As to the end, I should have just said that I personally like it when female characters are…well, girly 🙂
        Aul

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    2. I agree with what you are saying and it is very well written, I think writers need to look at other ways of giving their woman power. Whilst long range weapons are a really good one (I still want a book that contains a society of sharp-shooter assassins that are all women – may have to write it myself) I think it is good when writers acknowledge that a petite woman does have the same strength as a 100kg dude and look for battle alternatives. For example Martial Arts can teach a woman to concentrate on using what she does have to the best effect, how to use an opponents size and strength to her own advantage etc.

      Like

  4. For me, the mistake that turned out to be a blessing was unexpectedly getting pregnant and coming to love my son and being a better person (and mom) because of it. i’ve learned how to shop at thrift stores and buy second-hand. i would’ve never done that before. having him has helped me grow up and learn about what’s important in life- people and family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My story is somewhat like yours. I got pregnant when I was 18 and got married to the father of my baby girl because I didn’t know what else to do. Marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life but I got my baby girl. That was over almost 12 years ago. I am now married to my best friend, who has taken my daughter in as his own and we have two more beautiful, healthy babies ages 5 and 2. I now am a stay at home mom and run my own home based business. Life can throw us curve balls but we just have to learn from them. I love my daughter (and my son and other daughter) with all of my heart. There is no better feeling then being called “mommy”.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Haha, I liked it. Good idea for a goofy post! My one suggestion would be to continue the jokes to make it even funnier by doing something like adding another silly comment beneath each photo. But I enjoyed it how it is anyway. 🙂

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      1. Ah yes, BuzzFeed does that and it’s pretty successful. I only had an extra comment for a few of them, though, so I decided to just keep it simple. Thank you!

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    4. That was a lot of fun but I’m sure you’ve missed a few types. What about the “faking perspective to make it look as if you are holding a world famous monument” selfie? You know, when people are hundreds of metres away from the Leaning Tower of Pisa and pretend to be resting their hand on the top or holding it back?

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    2. I’ve been there. I had hurt myself and realised I didn’t want to get better if it meant going back to ‘that’ job. I took time to work out what job I really wanted, found one, applied and resigned the next day before I even knew the outcome. Scary but wise decision for me.

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      2. I changed from an HR Manager role to a role at less pay where I could use my Life Coaching skills and get paid to help people. I’ve changed roles again since into Project Management

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    3. Very brave of you! I did something similar just over a year ago to set up in business. It’s been tough but just starting to pay off. The freedom is great but the work can be hard and long. 9-5 will be a thing of the past, you will need to work late nights and Saturday mornings. Public holidays will be a chance to catch up on other things.

      Give yourself more than six months, it may take that long just to get your first contract! What are you thinking of doing?

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      1. Ah cool, thank you for the advice!
        I am wanting to create a craft business (sell my card designs and so on,) but also potentially set up a kids’ craft club (I’m trained to work with kids).
        Yeah my mate said wait 8 months!
        Did you have part time work whilst doing your business?

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      2. No. I actually moved in with family and lived off of my savings and wages of the job I walked out of until I could get my business going. I am a freelance writer with no prior professional experience.

        Best of luck!

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    5. I would like for you to build up the conflict a little more by providing more details as to why these decisions were important to you. I guess I’m not caring enough at the moment and want to know who you are so I have more to relate to.

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      1. Thank you!
        That’s so cool that your mate is making a video game! And very inspiring that he is so productive with his spare time (something that I very much need to be doing!)

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      1. Thank you! And I have commented on yours too!
        “Ooh ahh just a little bit ooh ahh a little bit more!”

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    1. Hi ! I think this is such a clever concept and very true, I think about this alot so its great to see it in words 🙂 Also I think its presented well so its not a giant chunk of text 😀

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    2. I think you did a good job at trying to address a fundamental problem with our society. Humans are often compared to wolves and sheep. The sheep stick together and stay in herds but the wolves brake out, control the sheep and do their own thing. Great post, just keep doing what you doing 🙂

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    3. Great points. Not only is it hard on the 100 or so people who don’t fit those boxes you describe, but trying to fit into those boxes isn’t fun, doesn’t make anyone happy and doesn’t provide the sense of fulfillment that comes from liking yourself for who you are.

      Like

    4. I think you got your point across well. I’m sure many can relate. Some more images might underscore your message a little better but overall a nice job

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    1. Overall, I love how your blog looks. It’s certainly not messy, everything is right there under my nose 🙂 I love the subtle, soft colours of your theme. As to the design, I think you nailed it!

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    2. I don’t think that it is too messy. In fact I like the simplicity of it and I like the artwork. The poetry worked for me too, but more so when it was with the artwork–that might just be me though. The one thing that wasn’t clear was the “link” that was supposed to show speed painting in quick time. Is that you painting the artwork? If so I love that, and the idea seems very original to me. My suggestion is to make that a little clearer. I did click on the picture and another page came up that told me to download a program. If that is what people need to do to watch this, I would put a little disclaimer below the link so people aren’t afraid to get something harmful on their computer.

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      1. Thank you so much fr all the time and detail ! 🙂 And ah I didn’t think of that about the link, Ill edit it to make it clearer 🙂 I was worried the art work was out of place so its great to here some appriciation 😀 Thank you soooo much 🙂

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    3. I like the theme and layout of your blog. My only criticism would be that I think the sidebar is a little too space out but I’m not sure if anything can be done about that. However, don’t worry as it’s only a very minor thing for me.

      I read your poem as well and while I’m not a poetry person I did like the sound of it and the meaning that it was trying to get across.

      Keep on blogging 🙂

      Like

    6. Seemed a clean design with large images, so that’s good. I didn’t see an about page (and if its there its hard to find). I know I always like to know a little bit about the person I’m listening to.

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      1. Ah thank you ! This is really helpful as I didnt know whether to add an about page as I didnt know if people would be interested so its great to know ! I will create now 🙂 Thanks!

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    3. Right away it is apparent that you have your own “voice”, which should serve you well in distinguishing yourself from other writers. I would suggest adding an About Me page so that readers can get to know you a bit, thereby having incentive to return

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      1. Thanks a lot Ben for the compliment and the suggestion. Its really encouraging.
        🙂
        P.s. I will definitely add that page.

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    2. Very Zen. The layout with all the open spacing and your words are smooth, but to the point. I heard music in my mind when I listened to it–R&B mixed with traditional Japanese–and if I was a lady I would be calling your number.

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    1. Hey! your blog is looking great and your writing style is very engaging and original. It’s enjoyable to read! Perhaps my only suggestions would be to make posts a tiny bit shorter. Good luck with everything!

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    2. I love it as well! I think it makes for a more interesting read and I always try to incorporate as many images in my posts too. Also, your post is hilarious!! Haha loved it!

      If you get the chance, I would love it if you could check out my blog as well and give me some feedback on it 🙂 http://prettylittlethingsxo.wordpress.com/
      Thanks!

      Like

    4. I watched it once through, and at first I didn’t know what to think of the moving images–I’m just not used to seeing them that way. Then I went through it a second time and paid more attention to the text and think I like less pictures.

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    5. Hahaha, this post made me laugh so much! The graphics are great, the add a little sparkle to it, I wouldn’t change anything 🙂

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    7. I took a look and certainly did not feel overwhelmed by your use of graphics. In fact they added some pinache to the posts I read. As a travel blogger, I naturally had to check out your travel section and thought the images were balanced there as well (though the sand dunes in Peru may have merited another few pics)

      Like

    1. A little rough around the edges but I am intrigued to hear an American’s perspective on a sport most of your fellow countrymen are not even remotely interested in.

      I’ll be following your blog with interest 🙂

      Like

    2. I’m always looking out for soccer blogs and I’ll probably be paying yours a few visits over the course of the tournament!

      I do have a bit of constructive criticism for you: use a few more conjunctions. What I mean is, your sentences are very short, which makes your paragraphs feel a little choppy, like you’re jumping from one idea to the next. It made me feel a bit like I was being rushed from one sentence to the next while I was reading it.

      For example: “Uruguay was slightly overrated coming into this tournament. We all remember the run they made last World Cup. They are a decent squad with world-class strikers. However, they were missing their striker and creator today.”

      I think it would be easier to read if you blended the sentences a bit more, like “Uruguay are a decent squad with world-class strikers, and we all remember the run they made in the last World Cup, but they were slightly overrated coming into this tournament. In addition, they were also missing their striker and creator Luis Suárez today.”

      Just my opinion, of course. Go CONCACAF 🙂

      Like

    1. Um, is it about life being girly? 🙂 No, it seems to be celebrating the more feminine aspects of your life and personality, which can easily get lost and under appreciated.

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    1. Hi there!
      I just checked out your blog 🙂 I love the layout and I think you keep your writing too a good length (not too long, not too short)! I think a small suggestion would just be to add images throughout your text to make it more appealing to read (even if it’s just one or two images per post).
      Hope that helps! 🙂
      I otherwise really enjoyed your blog so I followed you on it too! 🙂

      If you have the chance, I would really appreciate it if you checked out my blog as well and just gave me some general feedback on it 🙂 http://prettylittlethingsxo.wordpress.com/

      Thanks!

      Like

    2. Hi Sarah. Maybe I’m just the kind of person that can’t stand seeing/hearing/reading about another person suffer, but I was definitely drawn in by the honesty of your post about your week. When it comes to a lifestyle blog like yours, I think that will be your biggest selling point and draw individuals who can relate and/or empathize. And for the record, there’s nothing wrong with your reaction in front of the parent. If anything, that human element most likely endeared you them in some way. I don’t know you but I’d say don’t give up just yet. It doesn’t sound like the teaching part is upsetting you–just the paperwork and collateral responsibility. Perhaps with experience you’ll learn to manage with less stress. Best wishes

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      1. Thank you for your kind words. It really does mean a lot to me, especially after the week! Just a low point I guess! Thanks again! I’ll be sure to check your blog out too. x

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  21. I’ve just reorganized my site http://weavemytale.wordpress.com and need some input on what people are getting out of it. Does it flow well, based upon why I wrote in the About page (follow headings from left to right)? What would you do to encourage people to contribute their ideas to the story? Do you see any flaws with the concept? What is working for you? I’m really excited about the idea, but really need some help from some bloggers with more experience than myself.

    Like

    1. I find the navigation a little confusing.

      First of all, I don’t think “Why you’re here” is the best headline because it assumes too much about your visitors and, therefore, it may not accurately describe what’s beneath. I’d change it to something like “What this site offers.”

      I could not find a page called “About.”

      “Story Box” as a link is not self-explanatory. Before visiting the page, one would not know that it was an opportunity to submit stories.

      Lastly, the categories in “How to read this blog” do not match the categories in the header.

      The overall concept is good but I think you may have gotten a little too creative with your presentation. Make it as quick and simple as possible for readers to find what they’re looking for.

      Like

      1. Thanks, I was in the middle of making changes, but it’s good to know my changes may be confusing. In regards to your comment about Story Box, do you think it is clear enough to keep it as long as I mention it on the “What this site offers page?”

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      2. “Submit to the Story Box” might be a happy medium. If someone arrives at your blog via Google and doesn’t start on the “what this site offers” page, they won’t understand.

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    1. Hi 🙂 I’ve checked out your article and thought it was very good – thought-provoking and well written! Just two things for the blog you are now starting: maybe add an “about” page just so people know what kind of blog/writer they can expect when they come to your page, and also make sure to spell check your writing – there were just a couple of typos here and there no big deal, but it’s always nice to avoid those (yes, I’m very anal about grammar sorry :D).
      Anyways, hope that helped!

      If you get the chance, could you also possibly check out my blog and give me some general feedback? http://prettylittlethingsxo.wordpress.com/

      Thanks! 🙂

      Like

    2. Sorry noyshiv but I found much of it quite offensive in that some of the language we just DO NOT use as ladies. It was a complete turn off for me but hopefully you can readjust and make it for more pleasant reading for us.

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      1. I’m not sure what language she used that would have offended you. The worst language was direct quotations that offended the author as well and she was using them to illustrate her point.

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    3. Hey, good luck with the new blog! The content matter of the first post is good – it’s an important topic and good for you for giving your first impressions about the performance art piece a second thought after reading the comments about it. As far as the blog itself goes, I would second Inês and make sure you proofread your posts before publishing them since there are a few typos. Also, adding an about page is very important so if people read a post and are curious about you and your blog it’d be easy for them to find out more. 🙂

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    4. A pretty big topic for your fist post but I think it went quite well. There is nothing that I can add that the other commentators haven’t already pointed out so I encourage you to follow their advice and continue to examine, analyze, and write 🙂

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  23. Hi everyone!

    I’ve started a lifestyle (mostly health & fitness, travel and fashion oriented) blog a few months ago and would just love some general feedback on it – do I cover too many topics? Should I focus it more? How is the layout? Any feedback is so appreciated! Leave your blog link below as well and I’ll return the favor!! 🙂

    Thank you!!

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      1. Hi! I really like the look of your blog. I don’t think you need to limit yourself and narrow down the topic. Lifestyle blogs are quite common and besides, if readers are interested in only, say, travel, you helpfully provided the category link in the menu. My only suggestion would be to widen the header so it stretches across the entire top of the page and is even with the width of the content below. That’s just my preference though, and it certainly doesn’t look bad the way it is!

        – Leah / wentlooking.com

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      2. Really liked the look of your blog. Simple and crisp. Only thing I would suggest is to widen the header.

        Read your blog on getting out of comfort zone. Good one. 🙂

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      3. Thank you so much! As for the header, that’s just the way the blog theme is formatted 😦 I don’t particularly like it either but hey it’s free so I’ll take what I can get! haha

        Thank you for following too! 🙂

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    2. Looks good Ines. Just clicked to follow. Anyone who can appreciate Cappadocia (one of my favorite spots and occasional muse for my blog posts [see The Witty Travelers Guide to Cappadocia]) is OK in my book

      Like

  24. Hello Everyone
    I recently posted a Inspirational video I hope you guys like it tell me what you guys think
    thiszach.wordpress.com/

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    1. I totally agree with what was said in one part of the video, “It isn’t what others think of you but how you think of yourself.” If we know who we are in Christ – life is so much easier. Good post.

      Like

  25. i have been blogging for a while…. indeed i have many followers but i Dont get a good response… i would like you people to check out my following posts and provide a feedback that would help me to improve my writing more..
    http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/06/11/an-argument/
    http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/06/08/that-black-monster/
    http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/06/11/a-beautiful-losspart-1/

    you can also take a step towards my blog at…:
    http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/

    Like

  26. Hi fellow bloggers: I’m having a drawing for a free book if you’d like to enter. The drawing is tomorrow, Monday. Check out my post, “Win a book of your choice” if you’d like to enter. There’s other good reads, too. 🙂 Thanks.

    Like

      2. Thank you for visiting my blog and I’m sorry you can’t enter the drawing. Postage regulations are a real pain for trying to send things to other countries.

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    1. Hi! I really like the clean look of your blog (I’m a sucker for a clean white background), but I think maybe your sidebar is a little crowded. Have you thought about placing your categories in a drop-down menu as opposed to listing them all? That may help to just reduce the amount of writing a bit 🙂
      Hope that’s helpful!

      Like

      1. Thanks for the feedback! And no I hadn’t thought of changing the categories to a drop-down menu. I’ll go and test that out. Thanks again 🙂

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    3. Hi Sean. Took a look at your blog, and while the content was interesting, personally, the theme/style seemed kind of plain vanilla. Very stark and blocky (not sure if that’s really a word but just go with it). Widgets worked OK but the layout didn’t seem to reflect the personality of the writing. Just my opinion, mind you, since you asked 😉

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      1. Thank you for the feedback, I asked and you delivered. I’ve been trying to find a good theme for awhile now so it’s okay that I have to keep looking. Do you have any ideas regarding the widgets specifically? What can be done to improve them?

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  28. Hey there everyone! I am looking for feedback and comments on my brand new blog #shelfie http://shelfieblog.wordpress.com/ . It is a blog revolving around all things YA fiction. I am new to the blogging world and want to know if I am on the right track. Thanks so much for your support!

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    1. I like the simplicity of it and the use of your pic’s. Your subject matter isn’t my forte’ but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of followers who will enjoy it. By the way, if you like inspirational books, since you said you like to read, I’ve written five. 🙂 You can check them out on my blog. Enjoy writing on your new blog. Blessings to you.

      Like

      1. Thank you so much! It means the world to me that you took time out of your day to read my blog. Even if it isn’t your forté, thank you for having faith that it will become something. God bless you! (and I will most certainly check out you books!)

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    2. Hi Maddie. I think you’re definitely on the right track. The theme/style works for your chosen topic. Just be careful of your spelling (ex: hear/here) and I think you’ll do just fine. And if you ever need more subject matter, even though my blog is all about travel, when I was 21 I wrote and published a YA novel that is now in ebook format if you’d like to take a look

      Like