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The Perfect Host: Comment Moderation

Ah, the elusive comment. All bloggers know the joy of the comment notification, the disappointment of those posts where the “Leave a Comment” prompt never changes to a number. A good comment thread can elevate a lackluster post, and a bad one – one that’s full of in-fighting or self-promotion – can turn off new readers. I read some blogs for the comments alone. Certain bloggers have built communities of loyal commenters whose insightful and entertaining conversations are almost more fun than the posts themselves.

So how do you encourage good commenting on your site, and discourage bad behavior (or silence)? Here are some ideas:

  • End with a prompt. At the end of each post, encourage comments by asking a question or requesting feedback. This lets your readers know that your blog isn’t just a monologue – you value their opinions and want to hear from them.
  • Reply to comments. Your job doesn’t end when you hit publish. When readers leave comments, keep the conversation going with a thoughtful reply. You can even reply directly from the notification email, before it has time to slip your mind.
  • But don’t reply to every comment. If you have quite a lot of comments and you reply to each with a simple ‘thanks,’ your comment thread isn’t going to be as interesting to readers. Think of your replies as a way to add something substantial that will build on the discussion.
  • Police (politely). Ok, I’ll admit that an occasional train wreck in the comment section can be luridly entertaining, but for the most part, it’s best not to encourage or allow nasty and abusive comments. They intimidate new readers, derail conversations, and distract you from good blogging. Give them a polite warning, and if they don’t shape up, give them the boot.
  • Post commenting guidelines. If you find yourself doing a lot of policing, an excellent way to be transparent about the type of comments you will and will not permit is to post some simple guidelines. This can help you attract the kind of commenters you want, and deter unwanted behavior. (For an example, check out the Daily Post’s!)
  • Don’t approve spam. Sounds like a no-brainer, but spam can be tough to recognize. While approving spam might up your comment count, it will discourage real readers from participating, and it will attract more spammers to your site.
  • Return the visit. Developing friendships with your readers is one of the best parts of blogging. If you have loyal commenters, make sure you visit and comment on their blogs, as well. If they like what you write, chances are you’ll be into their stuff, too.

Remember, you’re in complete control of who comments about what on your blog. Ultimately, the comments that appear on your blog become a part of the content you’re presenting to the world, so don’t forget to give your comment section the attention it deserves.

Does your blog have a pretty lively comment section, or do you wish there was more activity? Have you discovered any effective ways to improve the comments you receive? (See what I did there?)

218 Comments
  1. I get one comment every post…and it’s, without fail, my mom.

    October 10, 2012
    • As a mom I can assure you – that’s what moms are for!

      October 10, 2012
      • I wish mine mom could do the same. But her eye sight is too bad now.

        October 12, 2012
      • nuvofelt #

        Sorry to hear that. Moms are for hugs too….

        October 12, 2012
    • I’m totally laughing out loud at this one because I can relate! Gotta love those moms!

      October 10, 2012
      • What about husbands? Gee, I’ve got kids also. How about them. Too bad my sisters don’t know how to use a computer.

        October 17, 2012
    • That’s great.

      October 10, 2012
      • Hooray for moms!!!

        October 10, 2012
    • My Mom is definitely one of my most loyal commenters, as well. :)

      October 10, 2012
      • Oh man. My mom is the last person I’d ever want to go visiting my blog.

        ‘Cuz then she’d find out I never grew out of Transformers.

        October 10, 2012
      • Eda #

        My mom has never, NOT ONCE, commented on my blog. Does that make me a complete loser?

        October 12, 2012
    • ha thats so funny wish my mum was computer savvy but sadly not you can always rely on mum

      October 10, 2012
      • randomness1228 #

        haha, I wouldn’t call her “computer savvy” but she’s starting to figure it out. ;)

        October 10, 2012
    • Hahahah I feel you!

      October 10, 2012
    • You will find that the ones that love you are the most important readers of all! :)

      October 10, 2012
    • That’s so nice. My mom never replies to my posts. In fact, I’ve rarely get comments on my posts.

      October 11, 2012
    • I don’t think my children read my blog, at least, they have never left a comment.

      October 11, 2012
    • Brian #

      God bless her

      October 11, 2012
      • gita4elamats #

        I wish my mum was still here, fullstop!
        Peace & cheers!

        October 21, 2012
    • I’m in the same boat. But usually my biggest fan is my grandmother. I think I’m completely missing my target demographic here.

      October 11, 2012
    • Lucky! My mom doesn’t even read my blog (>_<)

      October 11, 2012
    • Moms, they never fail you :)

      October 11, 2012
    • This was good… I enjoyed reading the different comments…… Have to say I am still short on comments????? Although it’s my granddaughter who is usually the faithful one to comment…

      October 12, 2012
  2. creeped #

    One needs foot traffic before one can think about comments :P

    October 10, 2012
    • Creeped
      Couldn’t find my way via gravatar to your webcite. It’s not connected.
      Interesting name. Wanted to check you out.
      When you link up so I can find you, message me, please. : )

      October 10, 2012
    • Yeah I’ve seen a couple of comments from you and tried to look for you but not had any luck… !

      October 11, 2012
      • creeped #

        You can’t find me? I’m right here! :)

        Are my links not working?

        October 14, 2012
      • lornamurphy #

        Found you!

        October 14, 2012
      • Maybe im a noob, but search didn’t take me to your blog nor did clicking your grvatar. Ill try again.

        October 14, 2012
      • creeped #

        No, no. It seems after all this time, I had never properly set up my gravatar. Yikes. Maybe THAT’S why I don’t have many visitors.

        Yes, that’s why. It’s got to be! Doesn’t it…

        Anyway, all fixed!

        October 14, 2012
      • Waywardspirit #

        : )

        October 14, 2012
  3. I adore the people who comment on my blog. It always is sort of a mirror for me about how my post was perceived, received, and utilized. The super loyal ones warm my heart; it was definitely an emotionally-rewarding benefit of blogging that I didn’t expect when I started!

    October 10, 2012
    • Dittooooo!
      Love my peeps!
      Yep, heartwarming as sunshine and a total surprise.

      October 10, 2012
    • So true! I’m often surprised by how readers respond to my posts, too – sometimes a post I thought was meh turns out to be a hit. And well, sometimes the opposite, too. ;)

      October 10, 2012
      • Jennifer Stuart #

        Haha I have definitely experienced the opposite as well. I think that is what made me realize how much meaning those little comments do have! :)

        October 10, 2012
      • Same here! :-)

        October 10, 2012
    • Yes indeed! Love it when people know what they think about posts :)

      October 10, 2012
      • …that should say “let me know what they think” :)

        October 10, 2012
      • So true!

        October 11, 2012
  4. It’s always good to receive a comment. I try to respond, sometimes it’s just difficult to find the time and then the moment is gone. I’m always striving to do better……

    October 10, 2012
    • Yes, it can be really difficult to reply promptly, especially if it’s a busy day or something. I’m always trying to be better about this, too.

      October 10, 2012
  5. I totally agree with everything you’ve suggested and try to do all of these things. I’m finding that some of my subscribers are shy about signing in to comment. They quite frequently send me emails with comments instead. I’m trying to encorage them to punch the submit comment button but it’s not easy. However, I’ve had some great discussions and discovered some pretty cool blogs. I’m not giving up on them. I want to make it work. My subscriptions and views are augmenting regularly and that’s great. I’ll just have to keep up the good work. Thanks for the very useful post.

    October 10, 2012
    • How interesting! I’ve noticed this sometimes, too, not sure what would help. Have you had much success with encouraging them to comment publicly?

      Of course, if you’re reaching readers, that’s fantastic, whether they’re commenting or not!

      October 10, 2012
      • didibooksenglish #

        Some of my friends are extremely shy and others feign not knowing how to comment. Really? That makes me laugh. I keep trying to push them by telling them that it makes an interesting conversation. I’m not giving up on them. some of my friends won’t subscribe but I’m sure they read my posts. It’s all good!!!

        October 10, 2012
      • When someone sends me an interesting response by e-mail, I write and ask if I can post it for them in the comments section. That helps to break the ice for reluctant commenters.

        I get great comments. Not many, but those I get are insightful, thoughtful and sometimes funny or rueful. And I’ve come to “know” people who comment, and made new connections.

        October 11, 2012
    • I find this to be the case as well. They write insightful paragraphs on email with their response, or the same is true on Facebook where they respond on my page but not in the comments for the post. Either way, I’m glad to hear from them.

      October 11, 2012
      • didibooksenglish #

        I haven’t yet made a Facebook page for my blog. Do you find that it’s helped you pick up subscribers and views?

        October 11, 2012
      • marylouharris #

        I haven’t established a Facebook page for my blog and am holding off on doing so for now. I do post a link of each new post to my personal Facebook page, usually with an introductory sentence to the link. That way, my friends on Facebook who are not following my blog (most of them) are alerted that I have a new post.

        October 11, 2012
      • didibooksenglish #

        Yeah I’m not really keen on the idea of having a FB page but I do the same as you. FB gets on my nerves these days. Although eventually I may have to do that.

        October 11, 2012
    • Same with me…Alas…hhh…. :(
      They are shy..but it will work one day… :p
      wish to get more comments…

      October 12, 2012
  6. Ending with a prompt can be a great way to encourage engagement, or alternatively just result in a super awkward silence, like a bad joke at a fun party. I think I’d rather encourage comments through responding and visiting rather than openly requesting them and feeling denied!

    October 10, 2012
    • Yeah, feeling vulnerable sucks sometimes. Like being the first to say I love you.
      What the hell. I’ll try it.

      October 10, 2012
      • I love you too.
        Wait, that’s not what you meant, is it.

        October 10, 2012
      • Waywardspirit #

        Yeah, actually, Debbie, I may just have, now that you mention it.
        Just didn’t want to be out there, you know, all awkward and all that. Yet, there it is!
        We are awesomeness!

        October 10, 2012
    • Ah yes the awkward silence. I think every time I’ve tried to prompt replies I’ve scared my commenters away! Maybe I don’t know how to do it but I’m going your route of responding and visiting as well!

      October 10, 2012
    • haha yesssss. I’m always saying “what do y’all think about ______?” and all I can hear are the internet crickets chirping.

      October 10, 2012
  7. I have never had much difficulty in receiving comments, but I started posting a new question every Friday (I call it Friday Question Fun) where the sole purpose is to ask a simple question about movies that gets people thinking and gets them talking – and – commenting. It’s been great so far, I’ve gotten new readers out of it too.

    October 10, 2012
    • I’m in!

      October 10, 2012
      • AndyWatchesMovies #

        Haha thanks!

        October 10, 2012
  8. I have a group of blogging pals, and a couple real world pals who comment regularly, and I always enjoy what they have to say. I have found a lot of new friends this way. My readers for the most part have a sense of humor, and appreciate my warped view of the world, so the comments themselves usually spark fun conversation. I don’t approve spam, but I do save the best ones and put them on my spam page. Some of them are absolutely hilarious. I try to comment on other blogs as much as I can, if I feel like I have something to contribute that hasn’t already been said, and I do try to keep it in the direction that the post was already going. I’ve had very good luck with comments so far. I haven’t had any negative comments so far. I guess the people who read me and don’t like what they read are in the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin at all” camp. Thanks for the thought provoking post! :-)

    October 10, 2012
    • I try to comment on other blogs as much as I can, if I feel like I have something to contribute that hasn’t already been said, and I do try to keep it in the direction that the post was already going.

      Yes! Leaving good comments yourself is the other side of the coin. Hmmm, possibly the subject for another post… :)

      October 10, 2012
  9. Wonderful post! We have great and lively debates and discussions on SLTW . . . but, on occasion, I do have to remind visitors about The Rules of the House:

    http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/05/10/rules-of-the-house/

    http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/the-queen-of-hearts/

    As the sole judge and arbiter of the comments on SLTW, it’s my role to make sure that posted comments add to the discussion at hand without causing unnecessary friction between proponents of opposing viewpoints.

    Divergent viewpoints are wonderful ~ name calling and mud-slinging are NOT.

    October 10, 2012
    • Divergent viewpoints are wonderful ~ name calling and mud-slinging are NOT.

      Exactly!

      October 10, 2012
  10. Excellent post! I know there are many bloggers who never reply when I leave a comment. That definitely discourages comments from me! I lose total interest in commenting or even reading their blog. I welcome a friendship, a two-way conversation. And I agree that you should look at someone else’s blog when they comment. Why not encourage each other? It’s not all about YOU!

    October 10, 2012
    • Totally, blogging is a conversation. It took me awhile to learn this. And as didibooksenglish mentions above, it takes courage sometimes to post a comment! So it’s good to be encouraging when someone does. :)

      October 10, 2012
    • hey intrepid catbird! you are tireless in your thoughtful comments, and I certainly appreciate them!
      z

      October 10, 2012
  11. Great subject.

    “But don’t reply to every comment”, You have answered my question of how to be polite vs. not commenting.

    October 10, 2012
  12. I seem to have a regular core group who almost always comment, and I love that. And they don’t just seem to be commenting for the sake of it. They always add something funny or interesing, or encouraging!

    I agree with most of what you say, but I disagree with not replying to every comment – unless there is such a large amount of comments that it is unmanageable, then I think efforts should be made to reply to all of them. If I comment on a blog once or twice and get no reply, I probably won’t comment again. Even a ‘Thanks’ or a smiley face, at least acknowledges the commenter. Alternatively, if replying to every comment isn’t going to be possible, then the blogger could write something at the bottom of their post like “Sorry I don’t have time to reply to every comment, but I want you to know that I read them all, and really appreciate your contribution”, or something!

    October 10, 2012
    • I agree with you, Vanessa. I try to respond to every comment so the visitor knows that their remark did not fall on “deaf ears.”

      Of course, it’s easier when the comment is funny or interesting, rather than just a “LOL” or a “Good post.”

      October 10, 2012
      • Yes, it can be annoying if you feel that the person is only commenting because they want you to go and look at their blog, but I give them the benefit of the doubt and reply anyway!

        October 10, 2012
      • Agree and agree.

        October 10, 2012
    • Vanessa, Couldn’t agree more except I think a global comment in the comment section saying: “thanks for the feedback. I loved reading all of your comments” (or some such) is better than on the blog post. Just a personal style thing probably.

      October 10, 2012
      • Yes, just some kind of acknowledgment to everyone, by whatever method is good!

        October 10, 2012
    • Good points – I can certainly see your point of view, as well, and agree that readers are always happy to be acknowledged. :)

      October 10, 2012
      • Yes, and that is why I am acknowledging your comment here, even though I have nothing to add! ;)

        October 10, 2012
    • count me in as someone who likes to acknowledge most comments.. if it’s just a smiley face, i can pass on that and know that the token gesture was not expected to be recriprocated.
      z

      October 10, 2012
      • I would probably acknowledge a smiley face with another smiley face! But I agree that it’s probably not necessary.

        October 10, 2012
      • Playamart - Zeebra Designs #

        :D of course the prompt was too tempting! Thanks vanessa!

        October 11, 2012
  13. Creates thought – I responded http://wp.me/s1J6nA-1588 and now am thinking more about the comments – as you say, when reading others’ posts, it is often the comment thread which adds to the liveliness of the whole.

    October 10, 2012
  14. Thank you for supplying this informative information. I will be sure to use them more in my blog.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

    October 10, 2012
  15. I have the most wonderful visitors to The Hurt Healer and their comments never cease to amaze me!

    October 10, 2012
  16. I have a very active comment page titled: Who ARE you new friend? http://retirenicaragua.wordpress.com/who-are-you-and-why-are-you-here/
    But, here’s my problem: I always receive tons of spam to delete on this page because I have so many comments. I am wondering how people find out about this page to try to link their ads to my blog page? Is this called link baiting? How do they find this page and how do they know that it has over 200 comments? Also, I would like to create a forum for the many questions asked about retiring in Nicaragua. Is there a way to do that?

    October 10, 2012
  17. Reblogged this on elspethc and commented:
    The pleasure of receiving comments and feeling connected with others of similar views, then moving on, and finding differences, so there is more thought… who knows where it will end? Wherever, lets keep it going with good spirit.

    October 10, 2012
  18. I wrote a post about picking up dog crap and I got wonderful comments! Like, interesting and amusing comments.

    A couple of simple steps to get more comments:

    1: Find a blog with a lot of comments.

    2: Figure out who comments there frequently.

    3: Comment on those blogs.

    Basically, you’re finding chatty people, and chatting them up. Needless to say, make sure they’re blogs you like and will be interested in following. As a noob author, I tend to follow around other noob authors.

    October 10, 2012
    • Smart idea! The same thing could work with finding blogs on topics that are similar to yours, or that interest you.

      October 10, 2012
  19. I’m a relatively new blogger (2 weeks now I think) so it’s been great to start getting a few comments recently :) Hopefully more to come as I keep posting

    October 10, 2012
  20. End a blogpost with a question is in my experience really working. Some time ago someone told me about that blogging technic and my experience is so that there are rather comments on my blogposts which had a question but less likely on blogposts where I did not integrate a question.

    October 10, 2012
  21. I don’t seem to be able to get past the wordpress reply police? I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I have a blog on wordpress and use it often, but whenever I try to comment on another blogger, I end up going in circles, no one else seems to complaining, and I want to try my comment here, and see if this one is set up the same? I used to get a few comments on my blogs (years ago) now I don’t ever get any, and I think that is ok too. ;)

    October 10, 2012
    • Cool, it was much easier to post a comment here, that makes me feel better.

      October 10, 2012
    • SmallHouseBigGarden #

      Not a Big fan of the irritating prompts at the end of some posts. Feels fake!!!

      October 11, 2012
  22. Reblogged this on Spirit Lights The Way and commented:
    This post about being “the perfect host” is definitely worth a read!

    October 10, 2012
  23. If I read a post, I comment. If anything, my response tells the writer, I care, and your voice means something. Thanks for posting about comment etiquette. :-)

    October 10, 2012
    • Love this. That’s a great attitude, and one I could stand to emulate. :)

      October 10, 2012
  24. I loathe those artificial questions at the end. I go out of my way NOT to answer them. If a blog is good enough it should provoke a comment without having to ask a brain-dead question as a last resort. It is so contrived.

    I try and reply to every comment, and every subsequent one (some of the discussions can be quite long). If people take the time to write something thoughtful on my blog they deserve a) an equally thoughtful reply and b) a return visit.

    Akismet is excellent at preventing spam and I delete all spam, I do however check the basket, as occasionally I have to rescue a genuine blogger from there. I have a first-comment-needs-moderation rule. It is tedious commenting on blogs that insist on moderating every single comment – you can’t tell what has been written before you. I read preceding comments before I write something on other blogs.

    I value my extremely varied and international readership. I have met some great bloggers via WordPress. There is a fairly laid-back (and jokey) atmosphere on my blogs, although sometimes it is serious. People are welcome to disagree – and do – with my opinions. I value comments far more than ‘hits’. It shows someone has read what I have written and thought it worth spending some of their time to write something back. In a time-poor world, that means a lot.

    And if I don’t feel up to writing blog posts, I try and keep up to my favourite bloggers by commenting on their posts. Over summer, I added a status post to say I would be blogging less often so that people knew not to expect as many posts from me. As far as I know, that may have been a relief for them, although I did receive some extremely sweet ‘welcome back’ comments on a recent post.

    There is no magic recipe to comments. It involves hard work, time, and respect. ‘Likes’ won’t get you anywhere. I have turned mine off, although people still ‘like’ my posts :D . Read someone’s comment, think about what they have said and reply thoughtfully. Similarly when you visit someone else’s blog, do the same thing. It’s easy to spot ‘comment trolls’.

    With luck, you will suddenly find you have a great bunch of readers – and a great bunch of blogs to visit.

    October 10, 2012
    • Sorry, forgot to close the em tag !!

      October 10, 2012
      • It does tend to be contrived lately, both with respect to prompts and to the comments themselves. Hey! Nice blog! Now check mine out please.

        October 10, 2012
      • I agree. Some of those “prompts” at the end are quite irritating :)

        October 10, 2012
    • Perfectly stated, as I would have, and better. No more need be said by me.

      October 10, 2012
    • Read someone’s comment, think about what they have said and reply thoughtfully. Similarly when you visit someone else’s blog, do the same thing.

      This perfectly sums up good commenting. And good conversing. :)

      October 10, 2012
    • RSITM.. great comment.. nothing more I can add and also glad you & I are long standing Blogger pals :-)

      October 10, 2012
  25. Good comments can really make my day. I love the interaction with readers and conversations that start from posts and comments. Of course, I always wish I had more comments and make it a point to comment on other blogs. I think that as a blogging community, we have so much to share with each other. The more active we are, the richer the experience!

    October 10, 2012
  26. This is a timely post Elizabeth (namesake) and all your tips are valid. However, from time to time, I find myself on the commenting roller-coaster where some do/don’t respond. When things get hectic in my offline world, I comment back less but do follow up to catch up (an unending feat). I must say that commenting back on others blogs and replying to comments is definitely important and helpful but doesn’t guarantee reciprocity. Some folk choose to move on or not respond and that is life. To new bloggers and all of us, I’d say do it anyway, don’t despair and reach out as much as you can. Reciprocate and keep on blogging. :-)
    PS. I add to each post: Please bear with me as I catch up on your blogs and commenting… etc
    Now I must go as I need to continue catching up my blog buddies posts… Ta love! :-)
    Eliz

    October 10, 2012
    • I’m with you. There are times when I just can’t get back to everyone. I try to go through my followers list once a month and be sure to comment on their blogs. But some folks post so often, I’m unable to get to each post. I assume when a blogger doesn’t reply to my comment, then they’re busy. I find if I keep visiting them, then life eventually eases up and the replies flow.

      October 11, 2012
      • eof737 #

        Yes, I agree with you on the time and effort issue. We do the best we can. The post is a great reminder for us to reciprocate by visiting the bloggers who comment on our posts; an important reminder – it’s not enough to answer a comment on our blog, we need to visit and give some blog love back. :-)

        October 11, 2012
  27. Hi Elizabeth,

    Another tip is to welcome new people who have left a comment for the first time.

    I sually acknowledge with a “hi xxx and welcome :)

    I love it when people leave thoughtful comments on my blog or even disagree with what I’ve written, or each other! After all, there are as many opinions as there are people :) .

    October 10, 2012
    • Exactly PiP! Hope to see you visit soon. ;-) And tweeting a post, liking it on Facebook and re-blogging are all great tools too! Okay so now I will tweet this post and add it to my facebook page! Ciao :-)

      October 10, 2012
      • Piglet in Portugal #

        Hi Eliz,
        Yes, tweeting and reblogging are good ideas. What do youthink of google+ ?

        October 10, 2012
      • eof737 #

        I use it for all my posts and recently noticed that they’ve started sending comments to my gmail account… a new feature. It helps with traffic too. :-) Yeah, it’s all good!

        October 10, 2012
  28. Polite is nice and likes are good, but we need more criticism. The blogosphere is an unrestrained place where people can post whatever they want. That being said, commentary, constructive feedback and criticism can serve as reminders to writers that if you put it out there for the world to read, the world is going to let you know what it thinks about your words and ideas.

    October 10, 2012
    • I don’t know about criticism per se, but I do think encouraging different points of view and having a civilised discussion is well worthwhile. IMO.

      October 10, 2012
  29. shofar #

    I really find Daily Post interesting and often helpful in relating to my progress as a first time blogger. It pleased me to know that I’ve already tried each of your suggestions, and you helped me see that indeed, the blogger really has control over his blog. The number of views and comments don’t tell the whole story, however. There are other factors for sure, but that would make another topic to save for some other day. Thanks!

    October 10, 2012
    • Shofar, you are spot on… and I’ll leave it at that. ;-)
      Now I must dash!

      October 10, 2012
  30. I love the blogging community I now think of as friends. I can honestly say that if I don’t hear from someone within a period of time I grow concerned. Not because I care about the stat, but because they haven previously enriched my experience. It is now quite funny that my husband, mother and some non-blogging friends have noted some of the comments that are made on my posts, want to talk about those comments and ask me about the blogger. It is like introducing friends. I enjoy learning from others, and the comment section can indeed extend the conversation to include valuable missing pieces of a story. Debra

    October 10, 2012
    • Three Well Beings,
      Smiling.
      I’m looking forward to your experience for myself. Who knew?
      What a name!

      October 10, 2012
  31. This is an interesting topic. One I ponder regularly.

    The only rule on comments seems to be that there aren’t any rules. I’ve read that a prompt or question at the end of a post can help increase or guide the direction of the comments. But one reader above says that she hates the “artificial questions at the end” and goes out of her way not to answer them. I’m sure she isn’t alone.

    I’ve also been told that it is important to respond to every single comment on a post, which I’ve started trying to do. But I’ve found that if I try to keep the conversation going by posing another question to a commenter, they often don’t check back to even know that I’ve continued the dialogue. Also, I find it very hard to come a with a response to “LOL!” I mean, what do you say back to that? Thanks?

    I don’t know. I’m still learning, I guess

    October 10, 2012
    • That would be me. LOL ;) As for the questions at the end, I suppose the truth is, I ignore them. If the comment I actually post is relevant to the question, then it is because I am answering the text in the post (if that makes any sense).

      I don’t try and keep a conversation going. I just write what I think in response, it may or may not involve another question. Mostly, I have to say, people usually answer if I ask a question.

      Maybe the people who read my blogs just have a lot to say :D There is a way to write back to a LOL. or a smiley, but you need to know something about the other blogger. Or sometimes it doesn’t need a response, so that ends that discussion. It’s really about a feel for a discussion, but most importantly, for reading and spending time on the blogs of the people who comment on yours.

      October 10, 2012
    • I couldn’t resist… Love your question. When I get a LOL, I :lol: back. Honestly, for me, life is too short to quibble over the quality of a comment. Be rest assured your comment will be appreciated on my blog; a comment, a smile, a word, a like… Only objection is spam and unrelated self-promoting links… but Akismet is doing a fine job for me on that one. Blessings all! :-)

      October 10, 2012
  32. I think one of the best posts wordpress made was the one on blogging buddies as part of the postaday/week 2011 challenge. I made so many great buddies who encouraged and supported me, and then I went forth and did the same. I’m still in touch with many of my original buddies now – perhaps WP shouldt make another simialr post, becuase there are so many new blogs now.

    October 10, 2012
    • Aye! :-)

      October 10, 2012
      • Piglet in Portugal #

        that’s how I discovered your blog and Nanyc’s SLTW :)

        October 10, 2012
      • eof737 #

        Same! 2011 was an amazing year for blogging and connecting! :-)

        October 10, 2012
      • eof737 #

        Upwards and onwards! :lol:

        October 10, 2012
    • That’s for me!
      Missed that one. Your comment makes me jealous in that wonderful way.

      October 10, 2012
      • Piglet in Portugal #

        Perhaps they will rerun the post :)

        October 10, 2012
      • Waywardspirit #

        Cheers to hoping.
        This, or something better!
        What could be better? Lol

        October 10, 2012
      • Piglet in Portugal #

        It would be nice :) Blogging can all be about community and encouraging others.

        October 10, 2012
      • You are an excellent commenter, waywardspirit! And I like the stuff you blog about too. ;)

        October 10, 2012
      • Waywardspirit #

        Oh, Ditto Alison!
        I appreciate you. I was beginning to wonder about myself. I guess I get out of hand emotional.
        Thanks for your kind reassurance. Yeah, I need it sometimes.
        : /

        October 10, 2012
  33. I have always tried to respond to every single comment on my posts. I never comment on someone else’s post unless I can contribute in a meaningful way, but it never occurred to me to do the same on my OWN blog. Thanks for that tidbit and for permission!

    October 10, 2012
  34. Interesting! I’m always thrilled when I come across long comment threads. I have comments ocassionally and I really get engaged in full conversation ocassionally, but I think it grows as the community grows.
    The comment thread gets more engaging as site visitors increase and that’s the true secret to blogging and comments. Good comments attract visitors and good responses bring them back again. That’s my exact experience and I hope it grows as I try to give it more time.
    Lovely tips, Elizabeth. I sincerely appreciate! :)

    October 10, 2012
  35. I love my followers that leave comments, and I have become loyal to those who reply to my comments on their blogs. When you take time to leave a comment and that blogger never answers, it is easy to leave and forget about them. To me, comments are like fishing lures. When we use commenting wisely, we will reel in fish to our blogs, as well as find enticing worms we want to bite on from other blogs.

    October 10, 2012
    • I agree with everything you just said. I’ve found my way to many blogs through comments that the bloggers have left on other blogs.

      October 10, 2012
  36. Thanks for this useful post. I’ll try some of your ideas.

    October 10, 2012
  37. Getting comments and then reciprocating on others’ entries constitute the community that makes blogging so validating for me.

    However, it’s a downer when you realize that some “likes” and “followers” are in it to promote their own sites and blogs.

    October 10, 2012
  38. Thanks! I am relatively new to blogging, and publishing on the web in general. There are a lot of unspoken dos and don’ts. I’m trying to learn as I go. This was helpful.

    October 10, 2012
  39. Deleting negative comment sis a slippery slope. I would never read a blog if I knew the commentary was being censored and I cannot see anyone precious or arrogant enough to consider doing such a thing having the self control to not keep raising the bar and delete for more and more specious reasons,

    October 10, 2012
  40. I posted this the day after a scorching diatribe that spilled on over to other social media, too. I wonder if I went far enough in deleting only the comments that attacked other commenters or that contained inflamatory language. Really, I left only the tip of the iceberg, there, and also the day before. Someone tell me what you think–I’m sorta clueless, here. Thanks.

    http://katharinetrauger.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/all-parents-home-school-4/

    October 10, 2012
    • I’m surprised the topic of home-schooling is so emotive – but – I’m not a parent. To me it has its pros and cons, just like state schooling. I do admire parents who do it, but I guess you need to be financially sound, which I think some of your commenters felt was an issue. But that’s about specifics. It’s hard to say about the discussion, when you have deleted the comments you felt were insulting. I don’t see anything remaining that I would feel necessary to delete. If we post about controversial topics then we can expect controversial answers. Up to each of us to decide how to deal with that. There is no simple rule – we all choose our own rules on our own blogs.

      Doubt that is helpful though :D

      October 10, 2012
      • katharinetrauger #

        Actually, I appreciate this input. I’ve had some concern that I left too much negative in place. Really, the parts I deleted were totally trashy, so we all were just disgusted. Two days of it! :-|
        And yes, homeschooling is emotive. We get arrested all the time. Glad that’s not legal in the US, anymore, at least for awhile.
        Thanks for takinga peek. :)

        October 10, 2012
    • shofar #

      Hi Katherine,
      Fancy finding you here!
      I just found this post and got into the thread. I never saw those negative comments. Just want you to rest assured that your choice of blog subject is an your personal choice and expression of freedom of speech. But you know that! You most certainly must always have full control of accepting or rejecting any comments that are negative and unacceptable in YOUR OPINION, on YOUR BLOG, especially if there are philosophical conflicts. I love your dedication and calling to homeschooling. Your friend in Hawaii.

      October 10, 2012
      • katharinetrauger #

        Hi!!
        As Kate said, “your blog; your rules”. However, if I have a G-rated site, I sure can’t allow the stuff I deleted!!! Amazing. My main beef, though, was with the ugly stuff aimed at anyone who had anything nice to say about the post. The poor thing just blew a fuse. I feel kinda sorry for her, now that I’ve got the wedding behind me. It WAS untimely. ;-)
        Thanks for the encouragement!

        October 10, 2012
  41. As I’ve only been blogging since April, I totally enjoy reading all these comments and learning from everybody else. And it’s OK with me if people are just commenting to lure me to their sites. I usually go there anyway and check them out – but not lately, as it seems everything came due at once and I just haven’t set aside time for that. I’m gradually catching up though. I’ve found that ‘likes’ are fun, but comments get the endorphins stirred to fever pitch. So for me, when I’m feeling down, I need my vitamin c(omment).

    October 10, 2012
  42. I don’t like to leave negative responses. I think many people use the annomity to say things they wouldn’t normally say to someone. I would rather say something positive to uplift what they were posting about.
    I am still finding my way on my blog as far as my direction. I have separated my art and photography blogs onto another blog to make it easier for followers to view what they enjoy. My other blog is for my writing. I’m not sure if it was a good idea, yet. I do many of the things in your list except the question at the end. I usually don’t like to have to answer a question when I have so many bloggers I want to visit. I guess you can say I am a toddler still wobbling on my feet. Great hints – though – for anyone who may not have thought of them.
    Oh – I did leave my new blog post on some comments and, then, rethought that as not being appropriate. Of course, I couldn’t take them back.
    I do find that there are some blogs that have long convo’s that start to talk about personal stuff that no one else knows about. Nothing mature, just stuff that can make you feel like you are eavesdropping. For sure, there can b e clicks on blog.
    Anyway, I suppose the main thing to do is to enjoy your blog and the people who visit.

    October 10, 2012
  43. I always end with a prompt so readers understand that I’m encouraging conversation about what I’m writing about. I think it makes them feel more connected to what I write about and I love the comments I receive! I’ve been lucky enough to gain some loyal followers who always offer up their opinions and share similar experiences with me. I always make an effort to comment back to everyone, and I appreciate them taking the time to not only read my content, but also take the extra time to write a response to it. The blogging community is so fanstastic! These are all really great guidelines for commenting.

    Stephanie

    October 10, 2012
  44. i sadly have no comments on my bloggg, and also can’t tell whats spam or not :p newbie!

    October 10, 2012
    • don’t worry you’re not alone :)
      am also a newbie and have received few comments till now.

      keep blogging! :)

      October 10, 2012
  45. Thanks for sharing the suggestions. Good stuff!

    October 10, 2012
  46. Reblogged this on Health and Wellbeing and commented:
    Great post and the perfect prompt for me, I’m planning to make changes to my health and wellbeing blog and it’s good to get pointers from you. Thanks!

    October 10, 2012
  47. I am visually stimulated and try to leave positive comments if the photo moves me. So many clever writers here as well. I wish I had time to write the story surrounding each of my photographs…there always a short story, but so little time! It is gratifying to know that another human out there took the time to “like” my little world. ☯

    October 10, 2012
  48. In my recent replies, I sometimes added an image in my comments to strengthen my points. It’s fun and it enhances visual impacts. Have a look here: http://janetsnotebook.com/2012/09/22/how-to-insert-an-image-in-the-comment-box-on-your-own-blog/

    I’ve developed strong friendship via comments with a few bloggers. Friendship takes time to foster, but it’s well worth it.

    Thank you for your reminder today about the value of comments.

    October 10, 2012
    • Interesting :) i want to try but i dont think so i can do this

      October 10, 2012
    • cool stuff,,,will try this soon…. :)

      October 10, 2012
  49. Good tips, however I will NEVER, EVER, EVER moderate a “hater comment”. Those are the best kind! Bring it! ( :

    October 10, 2012
    • Agreed. It’s kind of a love/hate thing with me. I get excited when I see confrontation happening!

      October 10, 2012
      • Adam S #

        Me too! Confrontation is the premise of my page haha! Actually, I haven’t gotten too many bar-fight-billies yet– shucks…

        October 10, 2012
  50. I’m slowly starting to get more comments per post, and it’s so exciting! haha :) thanks for the tips, WordPress.

    October 10, 2012
  51. My mother has commented on one post only. I sent her the link to a post where I referred to a much-loved family friend. I must confess, it was a new experience to encounter her in cyberspace, and my reply was one of the most carefully worded I have ever made! :) I rather fear that she has forgotten her WordPress password, because not a peep out of her since, despite enthusiastic encouragement from me in e-mail correspondence.

    October 10, 2012
  52. My mom passed away how sad. My friends, family, and kids don’t comment and not sure if they read it. I suppose that is a writer’s issue. I’m a unknown but I have 4,000 hits on my from at least 9 major countries. How many comments have I receive? 4,,,, Woe is me I guess but at least they are reading my work. I don’t know how it happened but my blog received 1,300 hits last month. It has a life of its own. But sure wish I would here from somebody. I will try these tips. Thank you.

    October 10, 2012
    • Some people will just read your blogs and leave without even saying anything, that’s for sure.
      But at least you’ve reached out and have probably touched at least one in a thousand lives. And that’s a great achievement. :)

      October 10, 2012
  53. Suzanne #

    Interesting blog on blogging. Lots to read and think about. Visiting the blogs of all the people who click like is beginning to generate return visits for me. When people comment they usually offer a new perspective on what I’m talking about which is interesting.

    October 10, 2012
  54. Cat #

    Such a helpful blog post! I DO get bummed with the comment flag never changes color. I thought that the nature of my blog (theatrical directors) would encourage a lot of conversation, but I’ve been very wrong. I don’t get many comments, and when I do, its often just a general comment to let me know someone has been there. And while I like those, I’d love to hear a few opinions, too. One actor told me that he reads regularly but that he was loathe to comment on people that might hire him! So, I guess that’s one rationale. But I think your idea of have a question at the end (or maybe “apple-seeded” throughout the post!) would encourage some conversation. Thanks for the idea!

    Peace
    Cat

    October 10, 2012
  55. Commenters also give me great ideas about what to write about next. I started off with a discussion about the new Google Penguin and how it affects sites about webcomics. I listed the top search items.

    That led to a discussion about TopWebcomics.com, and whether or not that was a good site or not. I did a poll a week later (“Do you use Topwebcomics.com?”), and that generated some discussion about what great websites there are to discover new webcomics.

    Which led me to an interview I did with Henry Kuo, the guy behind the site Just The First Frame, which was mentioned by some commentators to be one of the better managed webcomic sites around. The interview got me a bit of notice from other comics blogs.

    Thank you, commentators on the Webcomic Overlook, for the suggestions!

    October 10, 2012
  56. I have done it most of your tips above
    Thank you

    October 10, 2012
  57. Great post!

    It’s weird, because the spam comments are always so nice and polite telling me I have the best blog in the world. It feels a shame to waste and delete them ;)

    I always reply to everyone who comments, it’s frustrating to visit someone else’s site and comment a few times, only for them never to reply. So eventually I stop visiting, only takes a few seconds to say a simple ‘thanks’ sometimes.

    October 10, 2012
  58. These are great tips! I’m grateful to Nancy at Spirit Lights the Way for reblogging this. :)
    I love getting comments (of course)…and love replying with thoughtful responses…and visiting the blogs of people who ‘like’ or comment on my posts. Only problem is, there aren’t enough hours in the day to do that AND continue to write picture books (my passion) AND work AND keep house AND sleep at least 6 hours a night. What I need to know is…how are other people doing this? :)

    October 10, 2012
  59. Comments = conversation. I try to respond to every comment whenever possible. (When someone takes the time to share their thoughts, it’s the least I can do to respond to them.) If the day comes when that becomes unmanageable, I think it’s polite to insert a response every so often so folks know they’re being heard. As far as the “posed” question goes… I’ve tried it, but it felt too solicitous. I prefer spontaneous inspiration. By the way, WordPress does a stellar job with notifications, Spam filtering, etc. — thanks!

    October 10, 2012
  60. Finally have figured out the finesse of having wonderful discussions on my site. It took months for me to figure out the blogosphere and how commenting really is, and there are several unwritten rules about commenting.
    Example: Always read the entire post prior to commenting
    Rule: I never respond to a comment on my site, unless I have read the comment thoroughly, and always respond thoughtfully.
    Rule:
    Responding quickly is not always the best option to comments on your blog…Readers would rather have a thoughtful comment that a “fast” comment.

    In other words, bloggers do not expect for you to answer comments in 5 seconds, but they DO EXPECT a thoughtful response…

    Actually read your commenter’s thoughts in the comment.

    Be careful of tone in your responses too, this can be important.

    Responding to comments in a mono-toned fashion that is boring, will limit commenters and they will not return.

    Adding personality to your comment responses and makes for a lively discussion.

    You are the moderator and sort of the host…so being mono-toned and boring will not drive a discussion.

    October 10, 2012
    • Good to know. This is very helpful. Thx.

      October 11, 2012
    • These are all really great tips! Totally agree that a rushed response is often worse than none, and that cookie-cutter responses can get dull fast.

      October 11, 2012
  61. i am a new blogger and it’s really very exciting when a comment or like notification appears in your mail box :D i keep on checking for notifications :)

    October 10, 2012
  62. Good advice. I love WordPress screening, most of the spam they identify is indeed gross spam, saves me having that garbage on my blog.

    October 10, 2012
  63. Great post. Comments are the best, it’s always great talking with people who share the same interests!

    October 10, 2012
  64. Useful post, thank you. I love it when people take the time to comment and always reply, though sometimes I have to catch up quite a lot. Likes are easy, comments take time and I always appreciate what people write. I’ve made some very good blogging friends who feel really supportive. Thank you, WordPress, for your constant improving of what we can do. :)

    October 11, 2012
  65. test

    October 11, 2012
  66. I have exactly 8 approved comments which includes 2 from myself for 68 posts I posted since August 2012. Am I that bad as a blogger? :-)

    October 11, 2012
    • Just hanging there, it’ll get better.

      October 11, 2012
    • No, you’re not a bad blogger. I think people just don’t take the time to comment. I’m still hoping for more visitors :)

      October 11, 2012
  67. I find this very stimulating. My enormous python, which is enjoying itself in my pocket, is waiting for someone hard to wrestle it. My mother Elina can’t use my toughness properly, so please come and help me out. I live in Sweden, and if someone could empty my load, i would be very pleased. (Im waiting for you to penetrate me in the you-know-what)

    October 11, 2012
  68. Reblogged this on Focal Breeze.

    October 11, 2012
  69. Val #

    I agree with all of this except the third (unless you get hundred of comments per post, in which case it’s probably not in the interests of your own health to reply to them all!) I do think all comments should receive replies – thoughtful ones. I rarely only say ‘thank you’, though some do deserve just that – for instance if a commenter continually posts the same or a similar comment to all posts, I’m not going to be bothered to say more than thank you to them.

    I feel the same way that sometimes the comments are better than the posts (in the sense of them being entertaining or interesting) and I adore receiving comments – and I enjoy responding to them. To me, blogging has become far more about community and connection than about writing. :)

    October 11, 2012
  70. Most of my readers are my friends that press the link from Facebook, they also usually choose to comment on Facebook rather than the blog :( I have tried to change their behaviour, they are however not listening :( Any tips on how I can get them to comment on the blog instead?

    October 11, 2012
    • Val #

      To get mine to do that, I ask them to reply at the blog, and I don’t use Facebook ‘publicise’ – instead I post to each link to my blog manually. That way I can choose which image to show, too!

      October 11, 2012
  71. well not very interesting comments stream non-fortunately :( (

    October 11, 2012
  72. Reblogged this on Democracy the Beautiful.

    October 11, 2012
  73. Commenting and replying are the BEST parts of the post.

    October 11, 2012
  74. Great points and I’ve actually never thought about not replying to every single comment. Catholic guilt and what not. I wonder what that says about me?

    Don’t answer that.

    October 11, 2012
  75. I have a very loyal boyfriend halfway around the world who comments on all my posts, thank goodness – you’ve got to have one! He’s just moved from a travel blog (since he’s back in Oz now) to wordpress for the first time and is on post 3! Go check him out! http://sonofabron.wordpress.com/ (Does this count as spam? haha)

    October 11, 2012
  76. Great advice. When one comments on other people’s blogs, only choose the posts that are worth commenting something meaningful. An experienced blogger can tell very easily if the person made any effort to look at the blog post. It does get down to creating casual ongoing friendships with other bloggers and offering tips on their blog post topic. You will find like-minded souls. It takes time.

    October 11, 2012
  77. I’m loving all the great comments on this post about comments! There are far more than I have been able to reply to, so I’m afraid I’m not quite practicing what I’ve preached here, but I hope you all forgive me.

    I’m particularly enjoying the debate over whether bloggers should reply to every comment to let readers know they are appreciated, or whether they should only reply when they have something substantial to add. As you know, I suggested the latter in my post, but those of you who have disagreed about this are making such good points that I’m not so convinced now.

    Also, a lot of you have said you can’t figure out how to get people to comment at all. Anyone who has ever blogged can relate! Check out Michelle’s post today for one idea.

    October 11, 2012
  78. I m really heartbroken…no comments what so ever…it seems to me that people like to press the “like” button more than commenting…huh! :(
    nothing helps….

    October 12, 2012
  79. Thanks for the great advice.
    I find that people don’t comment much, they prefer to ‘like’ instead.
    Not sure what’s with that…??

    October 13, 2012
    • Sometimes it IS enough to just like it; if you love it, you HAVE to comment as there is no ‘love’ icon to click!

      October 13, 2012
      • misspiggielovestoeat #

        Hahaha true, maybe there should be a ‘love’ icon! LOL

        October 13, 2012
  80. Tamiko Boiko #

    Reblogged this on Thrifting with Tamiko.

    October 13, 2012
  81. I think the two posts on being a good moderator/host and being a good guest snapped folks to attention — I can’t imagine it was coincidence that my Weekly Photo Challenge: Big post (posted after the two posts on comments) had more engaged commenters than any of my prior posts! I think I struggle most with whether to respond to every comment (as I would like to but as a blog grows, unless blogging is our day job, I imagine it becomes difficult to make time for blogging, reading favorite blogs (and hopefully being a thoughtful guest!), and trying to be the perfect host! The Daily Post has been so helpful as I learn the lay of the blogging land – thank you! ~ Kat

    October 14, 2012
  82. Very good advice.

    October 14, 2012
  83. Great Blog, very insightful for this newbie. Don’t discount pappap’s though. Ha Ha

    October 14, 2012
  84. HAHAHA! I’d tell my mom and dad about my blog, but they wouldn’t understand how to access it or comment on it! =)

    Quite often I will pose a question at the end of my blog entries to encourage comments. While some are purely hypothetical, others actually invite conversation. I can’t say it’s an effective writing technique, however. It seems that by blog entries sans questions often get more comments! o_O

    October 14, 2012
  85. I wrote a comment here before the weekend, but it didn’t appear, because someone used WordPress/Akismet to falsely mark my comments as spam, resulting in me being black-listed. (let’s say Mrs X did it).

    It doesn’t really help visit other blogs, write comments and create pingbacks, when it all ends up in people’s spam folder. The whole interactivity between the bloggers are being lost that way.

    So, if I decided to take vengeance, I could mark Mrs X comments as spam and then she would experience the same problems.

    Why does WordPress let other bloggers treat other bloggers like that?
    Is all the akismet/spam things automatic?
    Isn’t there any quality control here?

    October 16, 2012
  86. Good suggestions – thank you!

    October 16, 2012
  87. Great advice! Especially for beginner bloggers like myself. :)
    I wish that I have more interactions at my blog, but I am constantly working on it and will be patient.

    October 18, 2012
  88. Very helpful tips and in particular, I am glad you pointed this out —

    But don’t reply to every comment. If you have quite a lot of comments and you reply to each with a simple ‘thanks,’ your comment thread isn’t going to be as interesting to readers. Think of your replies as a way to add something substantial that will build on the discussion.

    Thanks,
    TSD
    http://www.thescarletredishrack.wordpress.com

    October 18, 2012
  89. Although likely to be very entertaining for all of you (not so much for me), I’m afraid of what my mother might post! There’s just no telling! Would love to have my son post a comment – that should spark a thought provoking conversation or two.

    H…, who am I kidding, I just like to see some non-spam comments! :)

    October 21, 2012

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