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Is all fair in love and war?

Topic #260: Is all fair in love and war? This is one of those sayings people say when things go…

Topic #260:

Is all fair in love and war?

This is one of those sayings people say when things go wrong, but has never made any sense to me. Does it make sense to you? Why or why not?

P.S. Sorry for missing a post yesterday. My team and I are visiting in Lisbon, Portugal, to participate in the first ever Lisbon Wordcamp.

31 Comments

  1. If all is fair in love and war then it means it’s OK to sleep with my sister in law. And while we are at it, drop a ton of napalm bombs on people we don’t like. Coz it’s fair, man. End of story.

  2. Is all fair in love and war? This is one of those sayings people say when things go wrong, but has never made any sense to me. Does it make sense to you? Why or why not? Love is an irony that often demands suffering and sacrifice. War is a paradox, to obtain what I desire I must do what I despise. All is fair in love and war. Remember. All tyrants are worth killing regardless of their motives.

  3. Love and war are totally opposite from each other. While love brings life, war destructs it in the most horrendous way. Whether they are fair or not depends on our action and motive. Life is very mysterious, but I always believe that THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON…

  4. While I find that sometimes one is helplessly tempted or driven to chase after another person, I do not think that all is fair in love. There are thoroughly consequences for all of our actions and while not everyone will go after the “wrong” person such as one who is already in a relationship. I do believe that if such people were meant to have an honest relationship together then it will simply happen no matter what. To say it all is fair in love & war is only an excuse to cause harm to others. However for some people that’s their thing and for others like myself it isn’t. It’s all about knowing your limits.

  5. My understanding of the quote: All fair in love and war is that war is: In war each side is fighting to win so what ever they have to use against the opposing side is fair. Love play by the same rules but it has to be available parties.

  6. NO, life is always UNFAIR. The only exception to the rule is that those people given with special gifts or talents to nurture them so that they will always be a blessings to other people. In that way, any conflict will be avoided and love follows.

  7. Why not or not.. fair used to live on earth before but has left long time ago .. People in life in any situation will say this quote when they can no longer understand what is going on or to give themselves an excuse to do the wrong thing…

  8. It is hardly fair when superior technology is up against comparatively primitive ones as in most wars these days. Love can be one sided and inevitably ends in hurt.. So whoever first said “All’s fair in love and war” must have come out well on both counts.

  9. AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED,AND IN SO FAR AS ONE IS GUIDED BY THE PRINCIPLE OF WHAT IS FAIR AND UNJUST,THAT STATEMENT IS A TRUISM.WHAT IS GOOD IS GOOD,AND WHAT IS BAD IS BAD,THERE IS NO OTHER CONNOTATION TO THIS.WAR COULD BE WON ON A FACTUAL AND HOLISTIC PREMISE,WHILE TRUE LOVE COULD BE SENSITIZED THROUGH A WORTH-WHILE EXPRESSION OF OUR TRUE FEELINGS TOWARDS THE OTHER PERSON.YOU DON’T HAVE TO CUT CORNERS,GO THROUGH THE BACK DOOR OR ENGAGE IN UNHOLY PRACTICES BEFORE YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS IN LIFE!

  10. If you follow the definition of Fair:
    fair/fe(ə)r/Adjective: In accordance with the rules or standards; legitimate.
    Adverb: Without cheating or trying to achieve unjust advantage
    then everything and anything in Love or War is acceptable…
    Those that love or wage war with no thought or responsibility bring to themselves what they create…

  11. When it comes to your heart, everything is a war. Whether one is trying to maintain a relationship or get over one. Who is to say what is fair when nothing makes sense. It is a question that will take you round and round. I would like to think that if you find that one person who makes your world spark, that you let nothing stand in your way. Fight and fight, just know the consequences, some wars end peacefully, some lose, and some win. Just know that love is pain, and know your limit for how much pain you can endure. I do not care for the pain, so I say fight and listen to what you believe to be fair.
    L.C.

  12. First of all, nothing is fair. It was Bill Gates that said,” Life is unfair,get used to it”. If you think Love is fair, think again. War is unfair on so many levels, but unfortunately a fact of life.War is terrible, and so can Love be,non is fair.

  13. The things we do to get what we want like power,money, & women etc. ;many people have suffered & more will, count your blessings because nothing is guaranteed. If life was fair

  14. Hope you enjoy the town! I’m from Portugal so I can tell you two things about Lisbon! 1- It’s beautiful 2- Never ask for directions, they’ll send you on the opposite direction ( in Lisbon not in the hole country)

  15. If you have no morals, then that saying shall be your mantra. When you finally find the person that makes you fall in love, then crushes you because she has been repeating the same mantra, then maybe you shall learn. Maybe.
    For the rest of us with a heart and a decent set of morals, this saying is only something we have heard, but do not abide by. And this coming from me, somebody who has heard from more than one girlfriend that I have no heart.

  16. i agree.. People only say them when something goes wrong…which by itself means that love isnt fair nd neither is war… They have never been fair.. In love sometimes one has to give more than what he will gets in return and ypu know the best part is that the person doesn ‘t even complain – selfless bt certainly not fair..
    And war can never be fair for either of the party since both lose the valuable soldiers in return for at times nothing.. Those soldiers dont expect anything.. They know what their fate will be and yet they continue to fight – again they are selfless but this is definitely not fair..
    I think that the whole ‘all is fair in love and war’ is more of an irony rather than being the truth., its in complete contradiction to the truth by itself.. :)

  17. No, I do not agree, that all is fair in love and war. I don’t know why the person, who made this statement did so, but I do not believe hurting people is fair at all. People are being tried, in the courts, for war crimes and inhumane treatment of people during wartime. What is fair about that? People in love, who cheat or abuse, are not being fair to the person they love.

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