How do you recover lost trust?
Topic #85 (Brought to you by Plinky.com):
How do you recover lost trust? In a person? In an idea?
Bonus: If someone lets you down or betrays you, how do you learn to forgive? And can you possibly learn to trust them again? Why or why not?
44 Comments
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This will make an interesting post!
This is not an easy one to write about.
Once trust is broken I don’t think that it can ever be fully forgiven and certainly not forgotten. You may try to forgive a person who has lost your trust, perhaps because you care for them, but there is always that doubt in your mind. It niggles away at your feelings and you constantly wonder if they can ever be trusted by you again.Where once you would have told them everything, now you hold things back because you cannot fully trust them with the information that you want to give.
Maybe after a number of years, it might be possible to trust again to the extent that you did before, but I still feel that you would be wary and looking out for the tell-tale signs that one again you have been betrayed.
As far as I am aware I have never betrayed a trust but I have had my trust in another person betrayed and THAT I will never forget. It hurts too much …
Obviously everyone is different, but I tend to agree with you; how can you really trust someone again after they have betrayed you?
http://hectorhugo.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/everyone-gets-one-free-pass/
How strange – I just posted a poem called “The Trust Code” – how weird is that?
http://chloerichmond.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/the-trust-code/
I think everyone deserves a second chance if they truely desire it. It doesn’t mean I trust immediately, but with time if earned.
Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. It allows you to move forward. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.
Focusing on what is positive and what you love in the person is the number one key I believe in forgiving. If they have hurt you and you care about them, it hurts more. The goal isn’t to make it hurt less by pushing away someone you care about that does more to further injury. It’s a hard thing sometimes but living a life of gratitude makes forgiveness a whole lot easier ;D
How strange Adrienne – I just wrote about forgiveness and said much the same as you!
I think you can never recover trust – its like a beautiful vase, once its broken it is never the same again. The question is can you live with it in its imperfect state – can you learn to love it complete with its flaws? Or do you have to get a new vase? There’s no right or wrong. Only you can decide.
Surely whether you can or can’t recover trust depends on the severity of the infraction. Cheating on a spouse – oooooooh! (anger) but, I don’t know, accidentally burning down the shed – hmm…
That would kind of depend on what was in the shed at the time LOL!
This is a very good question I’m looking forward to where I will end up on this one..lol
It depends on the person, the situation, and time.
It takes a certain amount of faith to regain trust in whatever you lost it in. Depends on how much you have in said person or idea.
Too much profundity going on here! Mine’s about an untrustworthy car.
Certainly, If the person who broke the trust is really guilty of breaking trust. And is willing to regain the broken trust. everyone deserves second chance. It is hard to establish the broken trust but with spiritual values and faith one can learn to forgive. Forgiving is must for advancement in human life and can be achieved by positive outlook towards life.
How do you recover trust in your own coutnry, rather than a person? That is an even bigger question. One I battle with daily.
Forgiving is one thing. Letting it go, moving on. Trusting the one who betrayed depends on the circumstance. Losing trust in everyone because of another’s failure is damaging to the betrayed one. If I am betrayed again and again over the same issues, say for instance, infidelity in a relationship, (the big one), if I continue to find that all of my relationships end in betrayal of me, I have to ask myself why am I attracting this type of person? To trust the person who betrayed me over and over is not smart, either, no matter what the issue. If I tell Rosalyn a secret and she blabs and I trust her again, I am to blame. I would (and have) asked myself, “What am I doing wrong here?”
Errar no sentido de ser traido, é doido na alma , dos que amam profundamente mas por outro lado , perdoar é divino, ´depende muito da gravidade da situação, de pessoa para pessoa.
muitos se deixam levar por muitos anos de convivência juntos, muitos constituirão filhos , é penoso abandona-los em dias atuais, os mesmos inocentes acabam sendo penalizados sem culpa alguma da situação decorrentes de pessoas sofridas por traição.
Outros pratica a traição por motivo de vingança, é de tremenda burrice , denota a familia, é notado estes acontecimentos em classe média alta , na classe mais pobre, não há muita incidência de casos de traição .
devemos perdoar , pois é por ele que temos longa vida…
http://getreadingnow.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/a-picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words/#comments
http://goo.gl/c0qrx
This is what I’ve been blogging about for three weeks now. It’s Lent, ya know. So if anyone’s interested in following progressive Lenten reflections, come join.
PS: forgiving oneself is the bigger challenge
betrayal is behaviour of selfish human it can not be control of anybody that is a combination in life way espcially of gaining wealth ,power,something they interest off that they are one can own only /so,be clever your life handle and away,that systematic situation,foregiveness alway’s there already ,BE ALONE IS THE BEST MEDICINE OF IT
OUR LIFE IS LIKE A POINT THAT NO ONE CAN QUESS OR SAY,EVEN I’M IN PALMASTRY OR GOD PROVIDER;OR WHO U;ONLY HEAVEN KNOW WHEN OUR’S TIME,HE DON’T TALK, HE JUST LISTEN OR SEE,WE CANNOT HEARD HIM BUT IF THE POINT COMES TO US IT’S OUR TURN . =OFF
IF U THINK OF FIRE; IS NOT TO PANIC OR AFFRAID MY FRIEND’S;THAT CANNOT KILL YOUR SOUL;ONLY YOU AFFRAID IF YOUR ”SOUL” CAN’T ENTER THE SUN DOOR FOR ETERNITY OF ”GOD”HOME WERE ALL THERE HAPPILLY FOREVER TOGETHERE++ALELLOU IEAH
I trusted my iMac completely.
I believed in the TimeMachine
but I hadn’t noticed that
it’s been asleep since the end of January.
and I am devastated!
and may soon be a lot poorer because of that trust.
I’m not sure that you should always Trust – when the trustee has no stake in the deal!
Good post but here’s my version of this that I just did
http://thehiltonburnellfiles.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/a-lost-trust/
yeah, well you kinda don’t. if you do, it’s not real and you become paranoic. bummer.
Basically human has a structure with a heart having alot of emotions and the breakness of trust and recovering it is in the nature of human we trust the person most to whom we love the most and u know a common phrase
that EVERY THING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR
Hurt
Wow…I’m going through this very thing right now. I love but cannot trust. So painful, unbearable.
Might be only time and distance can resolve issues with broken or loss of trust for the person who was betrayed. And the healing may never involve the betrayer. Really, what action can a person perform that can restore something that is as intangible as trust after commiting an act of betrayal powerful enough to destroy it?